The Definition of Love
by shinigamiinochi
Summary: Heero is in love with Duo. The only problem is that he's his little brother. Can he ignore his feelings or will he destroy his family?
1. Chapter 1

Title: The Definition of Love

Pairings: attempted OCx2, 1x2, 3+4, 1xR (please don't hate me!) 5+M, slight 6+2.

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: Angst, violence, OOC, AU, yaoi, lemon, incest, attempted NCS, death of minor characters but still graphic, loss of sanity by other minor characters, homophobia, bastardized Relena, language.

Notes: WARNING! This entire fic focuses on an incestuous relationship. If this offends you, too bad, I don't care. Just don't read it. Yes, I'm going to hell, how dare I, blah blah blah.

Summary: Heero and Duo are brothers, three years apart. From a very early age, Heero finds himself looking at his younger brother in ways other boys don't. This causes great problems for him, especially when he learns what 'lust' is. But… what if Duo were to find out?

Prologue

Heero, nine years old, slowly crept into his little brother's room, not bothering to close the door behind him. He stealthily slid over to the bed and stared down at the slumbering boy. The bedside table clock read 3:30am. Duo's face was peaceful in sleep, unaware of his visitor. Heero gazed down upon him, over come with an alien feeling. He wanted to touch his little brother _so badly_, touch him in a way he knew was wrong, knew was a sin. Even if Duo were a girl, he would go to hell for it. But, as he gently caressed the smaller boy's cheek, he realized that he did not care. He kneeled down so that he could be face to face with him and, oddly, he wished that his little brother's eyes were open so he could see the pretty violets that often seemed to glow in the dark. His heart hammered in his chest as he leaned closer, hesitating only slightly, and pressed his lips against the sleeping boy's. His young nerves nearly exploded from the pleasure of feeling Duo's mouth against his. He reached and gently entwined his hand through his light, chestnut hair. His heart sped up as Duo's light moan vibrated against his lips and tongue. His other hand traveled lethargically, taking in every inch of Duo's body like he was blind. It pressed against him, gently, yet firmly, until it was settled right against the six year olds crotch. Suddenly, a larger hand grasped the back of his neck and roughly hauled him out of the room.

The rough hands grabbed at him and slammed him against the wall.

"What do you think you're _doiiing?!_" His mother screeched, "do you want to go to hell?! Well?! Do you?!" Heero drowned out her harsh slaps and yells. All he could think of was Duo, sleeping peacefully oblivious in his room. Duo, who would never know how he felt. He didn't care if he went to hell. He wanted to touch the one he loved. Even if he was his brother…

End Prologue


	2. Chapter 2

The Definition of Love

Chapter 1

Author's Note: It's been a very, very long time since I've updated this. I wrote this as a sophomore in high school and I can't even remember what inspired me to write it, but I'm definitely not gonna let it die, especially not now that I have an equal amount of people expressing their interest on the fic as the people that say that it's sick and wrong. Woo hoo! And for those of you saying that it's sick and wrong, warning, there is incest in this fic (hence the warnings on the title page) and it's not going away since it's kind of the focus, so you might want to try a different fic. For those of you giving positive reviews, thank you so much! ^^

"_Do you want to go to Hell, Heero?! Well, do you?! Do you want to turn out like __**him**__?!"_

Heero shot awake, his mother's words ringing in his ears, even now, eight years later. He shuddered; his body covered in sweat and tossed the covers off of him. There was no way he was going back to sleep, not with the images from the mixture of memory and nightmare that was his last dream still in his head. He shivered in the cold air of his bedroom and got to his feet. He ran a hand through his thick, unruly hair. The nightmares tonight had been worse than usual, but he wasn't surprised. They had almost lived in their old house for ten years when his mother, for some strange reason, had decided a few weeks ago to pack everything up and move. They were all still adjusting to the change. Duo was the only one of them that had seemed overly excited by the move. He said that it was a chance to meet new people and create new memories. But, then, his little brother always had tried to get the best out of any situation. His mother had seemed bitter about moving, despite the fact that it had been her idea. She had snapped at Duo when he had said that he wasn't depressed about moving. Heero was neither happy nor sad about leaving. He didn't have any friends and wasn't leaving anything behind, but at the same time, he didn't see how things were going to be different here. Tomorrow he and Duo were going to high school, which would be a new experience for Duo, who had just turned fifteen a few months ago. Heero was bored with the whole 'school' experience, despite the fact that he was only seventeen. He was too smart to be going to a public school, or at least Duo always said so. Heero didn't know if that were true, but he was bored in all of his classes and he felt that he knew more than the teachers, which was never a good attitude to have. Duo was all he had to keep him sane. Duo was also smart, though his intelligence seemed to be in the areas of art while Heero excelled in the more scholarly sections of math and science. There was a lot of area in Duo's interests for him to express himself which made his teacher's praise him as a genius while Heero was seen as a rebel delinquent. It seemed like Duo was the only one who understood that it was more a case of being too smart than being a smartass. His mother, on the other hand, didn't understand either of them. She had made it perfectly clear that they were to act like _normal children_ and not to act 'oddly.' Whatever that meant. He and Duo had shared a laugh as soon as she had slunk off. Their mother got that way sometimes, though nowadays it seemed to be getting worse. Heero called it 'fanaticism', but Duo hated that word. He said that it was just her getting along in her age and that she was lonely. Heero didn't care; he just wished that she would lay off of Duo. It seemed that most of her rants and scolding were at his little brother, despite the fact that he was a perfect angel. Tomorrow was going to be a chore. For as much as Duo was polite and friendly, ever since he was a kid, he seemed to attract trouble. It wasn't his fault, there was just something about him that attracted every asshole and bully and there was some quality to him that his mother seemed to resent. Heero, however, couldn't see anything bad about his little brother, though he would never admit this to his mother for two reasons. The first was that the woman had a voracious temper. It had gotten worse over the years, but she had been that way for as long as Heero could remember. He didn't dare argue with her over anything. He didn't consider her abusive, but she wasn't exactly above slapping one of them if they were 'out of line'. The second was that, eight years ago, he had born the brunt of his mother's fury. Eight years ago, Heero had discovered that he had a crush on his little brother and eight years ago, his mother had found out. He would never give his mother a reason to doubt him again. He would never willingly bring down that indescribable rage ever again. He rubbed at the burn on the back of his right hand that he had had for so long that he had developed a bad habit of rubbing it when he was deep in thought. He looked at the clock. It was four in the morning, so he had two hours before anyone would be getting up. He wrapped his blanket around his shivering body and left his room. His feet seemed to lead him on their own will power to his brother's room.

Eight years ago, Heero had believed that he was in love with his brother, but he understood now that that had just been a phase. His nine year old mind was too immature to understand these things, but he understood them now. It was like an Oedipus complex, but he was over it now.

He looked down at his little brother's sleeping face. His muscles were relaxed in sleep and he looked completely relaxed. It had been a phase. Just a phase, but he was over it now. He didn't love his little brother, _he didn't. _Heero bit his lip, grinding it between his teeth until he tasted blood. Yes, Duo was beautiful and sweet and sometimes when he was looking at him, Heero's chest would ache painfully and the mere sound of his voice would make him shutter as he had when he was a child, but he didn't love him.

"_Do you want to go to Hell?! You sick little beast! Do you want to be like __**him**_?"

"_Here, right here, good boy. I love you so much…"_

No, he didn't love Duo at all… and he would prove it.

End Chapter 1


	3. Chapter 3

The Definition of Love

Chapter 2

"_Heero, can I sleep with you?"_

"_Duo… what? What are you doing out of bed? You're shaking! What's wrong?"_

"_There's a scary man in my room."_

"_Duo, how many times do I have to tell you? There are no such things as monsters."_

"_But I saw him!"_

"_You just had a nightmare."_

"_*sniff* Please! I'm scared…"_

"_Alright, come here."_

"… _You'll always protect me, right, Heero?"_

"_Of course I will, go to sleep."_

"_Pinky swear, even if I'm bad?"_

"_Alright, I pinky swear, and you're never bad. I promise, I'm your big brother, it's my job to protect you. Now, go to sleep."_

"_I love you, Heero."_

"_I love you, too, silly."_

Duo blinked senselessly at the clock, his mind unable to connect the annoying buzzing in his ear to the blinking display. It took a few minutes, but his brain finally caught up with the rest of him and he grumbled. He hated early mornings. All he wanted was to curl up in the warm sheets. He had been having a pleasant dream, though he couldn't remember what it was about. Then, it finally clicked. Him. Heero. School. He rolled out of bed with a grin. As his muscles stretched, he groaned. He was sore again. He had this tendency to curl up into a little ball while he was asleep which would hurt his back and legs if he kept the position for too long. He did some stretches that Heero had taught him and grabbed a pair of new jeans and a violet colored t-shirt that brought out his eyes. He was excited. He knew that it was childish, but he couldn't help it. He was sad about leaving everything behind, but he knew that this place could be home, too. He was also a little bit glad that they had moved. Maybe a change of scenery would be good for all of them. Maybe mom would be happier here, away from the memories and constant reminders… Duo shook his head. Really, there was only one thing that annoyed him about the move. They had moved across state and the high school they were attending would be much different from Heero's high school. Since Duo had never been to high school, this didn't make much of a difference. But for Heero, it was going to be difficult. Everything he had accomplished in the last two years and a half was useless and all the things that he needed to join his fellow juniors he had not learnt in his last high school. So, the seventeen year old boy was stuck in Duo's freshman class. It wasn't fair! Heero was so smart, he didn't even belong in this school, he should be at college or have private tutors! Mom didn't understand what Heero needed, but Duo did. His brother was rotting away amongst the normal throng of students who didn't understand just how important education was. But, since it was inevitable, Duo would just have to make sure that Heero didn't get too depressed. After all, Heero was the best big brother there was. According to the kids that he had hung out with at their old home, big brothers were supposed to be bullies, only good for teasing and punching, but Heero wasn't like that at all. They were more like best friends and Duo always felt like he could tell him anything. It was different with their mother. With her, it was like they had a hundred secrets. His big brother never told her that they studied together in his room at night, but whenever they went out together, he would tell her every single detail of their day, which seemed to placate her somehow. He hadn't understood his mother as a child and he understood her even less now that he was a teenager and he had quickly lost his child adoration of his parent. He just didn't understand why she distanced herself from them, especially Heero and he didn't understand why she was so angry all the time.

After brushing out his ever growing hair and tying it up into a braid, Duo ran downstairs. His mother hated his hair. When he was little, she had snuck into his room to cut it, but his father had stopped her and become adamant about allowing Duo to keep some sort of independence. Even now, when it was just the three of them, she showed her hatred for the cinnamon locks, but didn't try to get rid of it beyond scolding and attempts to convince him. She was already up and moving around in the kitchen as he ran down the stairs, book bag slung over one shoulder and braid trailing behind him like a banner. He couldn't see what she was doing, but there was no smell of food in the kitchen. Of course, she had never been much of a cook and Duo preferred cooking for all of them anyway. His mother's head shot up and glared at him.

"Duo Maxwell! You are a boy, not a monkey and you will act like one and not bounce around on the steps! Are you trying to destroy this house before we've started living here?!" Her voice was sharp, but Duo ignored her as he always did, or at least he tried to. Her voice cut through his heart like a knife, but he refused to let her make him bleed. Never again.

"What the hell are you wearing?!" Eliza Yuy-Maxwell snarled as she took in his jeans and t-shirt which framed his growing body nicely. Too nicely. Duo grabbed a loaf of bread from the cupboard and put four slices into the toaster.

"It's no big deal, ma, it's just school and everyone dresses like this!" Duo tried to reassure her. He knew that working her up into a frenzy this early in the morning was never a good idea.

"We must make a good impression. We are new here and I won't having you look like a slut!"

Duo looked at her in shock at the harsh words and pure hatred in her voice. He hated her when she was like this and hated himself for hating her. Why couldn't he be a good son? He had to be a good boy, he would go back upstairs and change, he would-

"He does not look like a slut, mother," Heero said coldly from the stairs. Eliza's blue eyes narrowed at her older son.

"All teenagers wear clothes like that, if he went to school wearing a suit and tie, people might get ideas," Heero said, his voice not warming a single bit, but his eyes were soft as he looked at Duo. Duo smiled gratefully at him. He was always there to rescue him, be it from a rabid dog or a bully or even their own mother. Eliza backed down from that stony blue gaze, so much like her own, yet so much sharper in youth and something else that she hated. She looked back down at the paper, ignoring the two boys in the kitchen. Heero went to the toaster, bumping shoulders with Duo in a comforting gesture. Duo grinned at him, threading his fingers through Heero's. He didn't notice the heavy blush on his brother's face.

"_I love you, Heero." _

End Chapter 2


	4. Chapter 4

The Definition of Love

Chapter 3

Author's Note: So, Sen, my literature muse, as bit my ass and whacked me over the head with a metal bat. Lately I haven't felt like writing. It isn't writer's block as much as depression. I've been working on Solstice frequently, simply because it moves a lot differently than my Gundam Wing fanfiction and when it comes to my novels, I feel like a mother while with fanfiction, it's like I'm babysitting. But, lately my creative juices have returned and feel not quite so down. 'Course, when I'm writing I multitask because if I don't, I don't write as well. I'm watching movies, reading two different archives of fanfics, checking mail, playing Mahjong, and writing Solstice and Gundam Wing fanfiction. Add snacking into the mix, and I'm shocked I get anything done. Definition of Love is coming along nicely, so I'm trying to update as much as I can, but I don't know how long my creative urges will last. Hopefully I won't burn out too soon. I'm really glad people are liking this fic, the sudden wave of reviews are definitely helping me rush things along. About this fic: the chapters switch off between Heero and Duo's point of things. For example, this chapter focuses on Heero's fist day of school while the next will be Duo's experiences.

Duo's hand was wonderfully warm in his and seemed to spread to his face. Heero was glad that they were both facing the toaster and their backs were to their mother so she couldn't see their linked hands or Heero's flush face.

'_Brothers don't hold hands,_' a voice inside Heero's head jeered. The voice sounded annoyingly like his mother's. He ignored it. It was fine. Duo liked holding hands, it didn't have to mean anything.

That warmth made Heero feel good inside, like a calming tide. Yet, he still felt his anger at his mother trying to breach the surface. Eliza had no right to call Duo a slut. Duo was beautiful and Eliza was clearly jealous and annoyed by that fact, but she was still their mother and it had been quite a while since she had acted that way. The toast popped up and Duo's hand left his. It left a sort of hollow ache in Heero's gut. He watched the younger boy slather butter and grape jelly on the toast and sit down at the table while their mother remained standing at the counter reading her paper. Heero dug out a box of cereal from one of the cupboards, poured skim milk into the bowl and sat the table with Duo. Eliza hated skim milk but it was the only milk Duo would drink. Heero preferred soy milk, but skim was better than whole or two percent. Their father had also loved skim milk and they had gotten used to it. It was terrible watching their mother try to gulp it down like it was some sort of poison.

"Mom, can you hand me the funnies?" Duo called, his mouth full of toast. Heero snorted in amusement. Only his little brother could make such disregard for manners seem cute. Eliza ignored him, continuing to peruse something of interest in the paper. Heero sighed heavily and stood, marching over to the woman and grabbed the paper from her.

"What are you doing?!" She shrieked. Heero nearly froze in memory, but he shook it off and grabbed a slim section from the paper. He thrust the rest of the paper back at her. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"How dare you?" She hissed. Heero glared back at her, his ice meeting her stony fire.

"He just asked for the comics. You never read them," he reminded her. As he walked back to the table, her eyes followed him. He handed the comics to Duo, who blushed.

"Heero, thank you. But you didn't have to do that."

"Yes, I did," Heero said, smiling, "she's just being a tit," he whispered, "now read your comics and finish eating."

Duo seemed to perk up, though Heero kept an eye on Eliza for him. She returned to her newspaper, but her eyes also continued to flicker towards Heero every now and then. Duo finished reading and ate his toast quickly, his and Heero's companionable silence was pleasant compared to the icy chill that their mother seemed to create with her own silence. Duo grabbed both of their dishes before Heero could protest and cleaned them at the sink.

"Go get your coat," Heero said. Duo smiled at him and ran off cheerfully, looking much like an exuberant puppy. Heero stood and pushed in their chairs. He suddenly felt Eliza's presence next to him and she grabbed his arm in a bruising grip.

"Don't you ever talk back to me again, do you understand, Heero?" She hissed in his ear and grabbed his hair tightly. He felt her own silky, dark brown hair on his neck. Heero wrenched his arm away from her and took a step back, feeling of few strands of his hair tug loose but not caring.

"I have to go to school. It wouldn't do for me to be late my first day."

Heero walked out of the kitchen to join Duo and Eliza returned to her paper.

Duo looked up from tying his shoelace as Heero stormed out of the kitchen.

"You ok?" He asked. Heero nodded. Duo stood and handed Heero his sneakers. As Heero took them from him, he stared at a red mark on his older brother's arm.

"Heero, what's that?"

Heero looked into Duo's wide violet eyes and smiled.

"It's nothing," he assured him, ruffling his hair. Duo's nose scrunched up cutely.

"Don't do that," the shorter boy attempted to soothe his hair even as his brother dragged him out the door.

Arcadia, Illinois was a small town that was on the edge of Lake Michigan, but was not considered to be dead or a 'hick' town, they just liked their privacy, but they were very connected with the outside world. Arcadia High School, thankfully, was not far from the Maxwell-Yuy's new house, so Heero and Duo could walk to school instead of relying on their mother for a ride. It would be… more relaxing. It was autumn and it was already getting cold. Coming from Colorado, Heero knew that winter farther north was going to be a new experience, but so far it wasn't too cold. New Pottersville had been slightly larger than Arcadia, but Heero preferred this new town. He hoped that the people here were less gossipy shits than what they were used to. He watched with a small smile as Duo took in all of the sights and he knew right away what his little brother was seeing. There were trees everywhere and very few factories or smoke clouding the sky. There were shops advertising fishing instead of the newest rap artist and there wasn't a fluorescent light in sight. Things were looking up already. This wasn't to say that they hated their old town, but there was definitely something charming and warm about Arcadia. Duo took in everything with happy air of a child with a new toy. He was glad that at least someone their tiny family was glad for the change.

"So, what classes are you taking again?" Duo asked as they walked. Even so early in the morning, the sun shone brightly through the clouds and Heero knew that it was going to be a beautiful day. Maybe he could get Duo to play soccer with him after school.

"Algebra 1, European History, Economics, Home Economics, Gym, Drawing and Painting, and Literature," Heero said with a depressed air. He was looking forward to Economics and Algebra, but everything else either bored him or filled him with dread. He had already taken Algebra, European History, and several literature classes in his last high school, so taking basic classes was just going to be repetitive and annoying. He didn't mind taking Algebra over again, he enjoyed math, he like how structured it was and how there was only one correct answer. In math, unlike in his life, there were no shades of grey. Either an answer was wrong or it was right. In math, no one got hurt and no one had to wonder if their decisions would cause decay or destruction. He doubted that European History would teach him anything new and he didn't care for literature. He was terrible at cooking at sewing and anything that involved art. That was Duo's specialty, not his. Gym might be fun, though. They were both fairly good at sports, but because Duo wasn't all that imposing looking, he got ganged up a lot.

"Neat, I got Home Economics, Gym, and Drawing and Painting with you! I also got Asian History, Chorus, Pre Algebra, Social Psychology, and Creative Writing. Sounds fun, well, except for Pre Algebra, ugh."

Heero smirked. Duo hated math. He kept trying to find different ways of doing things when there was only one way and he couldn't remember all the little rules like Heero could. Heero turned to jibe at him about taking Home Economics when he noticed that Duo was no longer beside him. Heero spun around, panicked. No one else was on this street, so no one could have grabbed him, right?

Duo was there, a few feet behind him, frozen in place, his eyes wide in fear. Heero followed his gaze and saw and dog approaching them, or rather, approaching Duo. It was a ragged thing, a mutt and clearly a stray. The tawny dogs tail wagged furiously as it walked up to Duo, who started to shake the closer that it got to him.

"Heero?" Duo whispered, terrified.

"It's ok, Duo," Heero said softly, more not to spook his brother than the dog. Duo shuddered, lost deep in a memory.

"How do you know?" Duo rasped. Heero felt a small burst of disappointment spark in his chest. His little brother had never questioned him before. Still, he smiled at him. Duo was a teenager now and he had every right to question his judgment just as he did for their mother, but it still hurt. He knew that he would miss that childlike admiration that Duo had had. But, then Duo's wide eyes fell on him and Heero realized that that admiration had never gone away. He trusted Heero more than his own mother and he needed him to say why he shouldn't be afraid, not because he didn't trust Heero, but because he knew that Heero would have all the answers. Power like that was overwhelming and it made Heero wonder if Duo would ever outgrow this hero worship he had for him.

"Because he's wagging his tail. He's just happy to see you," Heero crouched down and whistled, "here, boy, good doggy."

The dog's tawny ears perked up and he trotted over to Heero, who petted him. Still, Duo stayed frozen, but Heero didn't blame him after what had happened the last time a large dog had come up to him. With a firm pat, the stray dog was finally satisfied and trotted off. As soon as the mutt was out of sight, Duo flung himself into Heero's arms.

"It's ok, it's gone," Heero assured him. Duo shook a little, but he seemed to be getting himself under control again.

"I'm so sorry," Duo murmured, "'s so stupid. I know I shouldn't be afraid of a dumb dog, but I was so scared…"

"It's alright, it's not stupid," Heero watched with pride as Duo pulled himself together as though it had never happened, though he felt an acute sense of loss when he untangled himself from his embrace.

"On we go, then?" Heero asked. Duo nodded.

Heero sighed deeply as they collected their schedules and combinations to their lockers. Arcadia High was exactly like New Pottersville High. Sure, there were some differences. For example, instead of green, white, and blue, Arcadia's school colors where gold, red, and black and instead of some dumb looking fish, they had a magnificent hawk for a school mascot. Instead of two floors, the school only had one and the lockers where a nice, neutral grey instead of the hideous interchanging colors that tried to match the school's flag that Pottersville had had. Also, this school had its own library and there wasn't a single piece of graffiti on the outside of the school. However, despite these little differences, in Heero's eye, it was all the same. As he led Duo to their lockers, he ignored the other students that were good enough to show up twenty minutes before the bell rang. He wasn't unfriendly; he just didn't see the need to seek anyone out. If he happened to make friends, that would be fine, but he wasn't desperate for it. Unlike in his old high school, the lockers were assigned by last name, not randomly, so his and Duo's lockers were right next to each other. Duo stuck close to him, watching him closely as though he wasn't exactly sure what to do.

Thankfully, their first class was one that they had together, gym, and Heero hoped that it would lessen his nervousness. There were already a bunch of people there sitting on the bleachers. This gym was fairly small and didn't have a weight room or any gymnastics equipment, which was just fine with Heero. He wondered if this class would be different than at his last school. There the subjects had been divided by gender and class. It would be a while before class started, but the class already seemed mixed with girls and boys and various ages, so he didn't think that the classes were divided by grades. Duo found a seat next to some young blonde boy and another very tall boy with startling green eyes. They had moved right before school started, so Heero had hoped that they wouldn't attract too much attention, but a few minutes after they had sat down, some blue eyed girl walked up to Heero with a soft smile and an excited, blushing expression.

"Hi, I haven't seen you around before!" She chirped. Heero felt his defenses fall as she reached out a hand to shake his. He accepted it. Her hand was soft and small and she brushed back her dark brown hair as it fell over her shoulder. He barely noticed when Duo looked at her with an odd expression.

"We just moved here," Heero said, nodding his head in Duo's direction. Duo smiled weakly at her but didn't shake her hand and she didn't offer it. The girl put a hand to her mouth is surprise.

"Oh, are you two twins?" She squeaked in excitement. Heero blushed.

"No, he's younger than me. It's a long story."

The blonde's smile widened and she placed a hand lightly on his arm.

"Well, my name's Relena Peacecraft. Welcome to Arcadia," she said sweetly, looking up at Heero through half lidded eyes. Heero smiled back at her. So, she was flirting with him, huh? Well, she was kind of pretty in an innocent sort of way.

"Heero Yuy-Maxwell and this is my brother, Duo."

Duo nodded to her, though she didn't look his way, just kept staring at Heero. Heero didn't mind. Duo's voice faded into the background as he started to talk to the blonde next to him. Relena started up her own conversation about where the best places to eat were and how great their movie theater was. All the while that she spoke, Heero kept his ears on her and his eyes on his brother and the strange expression on his face that he had never seen there before. He caught how Duo looked over at him even as he chatted with the blonde, but he couldn't figure out why he was doing it.

It was like that for the rest of the day. When they were in class together, Duo would look over at him, then look away quickly, a strange look on his face. He hated that look, but he couldn't figure out what was wrong with him or how to fix it. So, when Algebra came around and Duo left him for a different class, Heero couldn't get him out of his mind. What did it matter anyway? If there was something wrong, Duo would tell him eventually. He always did. But it still bothered him. He sat across from a Chinese boy who was looking intently at some book. He didn't look like a freshman…

"Hey, is this Algebra?" Heero asked. The boy looked up at him with stern brown eyes.

"Excuse me?" He said in a haughty tone that said clearly that he couldn't believe that Heero had the gall to speak to him.

"I said, 'is this Algebra?'" Heero said again, refusing to back down under that stare. His mother's glares were more potent and he had never backed down from her. The Chinese boy snorted in amusement.

"Are you a freshman?" He asked, his voice condescending and annoyed. Heero narrowed his eyes at him.

"Yes, I am, so?"

"So, if you weren't, you wouldn't be talking to me," the Chinese boy said matter of factly.

"I'm Heero Yuy and I just moved here, so am I in the right class or not?" Heero snapped. The other boy smirked.

"I know who you are. One of my friends has talked to your brother. You're in the right class. You're last school must have thought that you belonged here because of this is a junior class. I should know. I'm only a sophomore, but they thought I belonged here, too. Chang Wufei," the Chinese boy stretched out his hand. Heero took it with wide eyes. He had been expecting some sort of altercation between him and the strange boy, not a handshake. It wasn't in his past experiences that freshman and sophomores mingled well. He shook his hand anyway.

"Say," Wufei leaned in and whispered, "you got a pencil? Some senior juvenile stole mine. We lower classman got to look out for each other."

Heero smirked and dug a pencil from his pocket.

"Yeah, I guess we do."

As Heero got his stuff from his locker, he was startled and quite a bit concerned to find that he couldn't find his brother anywhere. He sighed and left the school. Maybe Duo was waiting outside. As he walked across the field, he finally saw the long haired boy waiting for him on the street back to their house, talking once more to the short blonde from gym. Whatever they were talking about, they were both very animate. Heero gritted his teeth and felt jealousy spread through his chest. Duo had spoken more with that boy today than him. So, what? Duo had every right to make new friends, it didn't mean anything. So why was he taking it so personally?

"Heero!" He heard Relena call to him and turned around. He smiled at her.

"Hey, Relena."

She was breathing hard as though she had had to run to catch up with him.

"What are you doing Friday?" She asked nervously. It was kind of cute how she avoided his eyes by looking at the ground. He shrugged.

"Nothing, really. I've already unpacked and I don't have that much homework."

"Would… would you like to go to the movies with me?" She blurted it out suddenly, almost yelling in her bluntness, still looking at the ground. He tilted her head up to look at her in her crystal blue eyes.

"I would love to go to the movies with you, Relena," Heero said and he leaned down and kissed her lightly on the lips. Looking back, he had no idea why he did it. It was a sort of impulse and when his lips pressed to hers, he felt a strange sort nervousness fluttering around in his stomach. Was this attraction? Real attraction? Or something else? When they moved away, Relena's eyes were still closed and she had a sweet little smile on her face.

"I'll call you then, ok?" Heero said. Relena's face blushed prettily like a doll.

"I'll be looking forward to your call," she said sultrily, walking off to a car that was parked back towards the school, her hips swaying. Heero smirked, and then ran off towards his brother, who was now waiting for him alone, that strange look on his face as he watched him approach.

"What's wrong?" Heero asked Duo after they had been walking in total silence for five minutes. The silence was not comfortable, there seemed to be an air of tension surrounding them.

"Nothing's wrong," Duo said, refusing to look at Heero, his eyes looking at the ground in a defensive gesture that was quite cute, though a little bit different than Relena's. Heero grabbed Duo's arm and he stopped walking, but Duo still refused to look at him.

"Duo, you know you can talk to me about anything, right? If there's something bothering you, I'll listen. You're my little brother."

Duo looked up then and his violet eyes were filled with some indescribable emotion that made Heero's chest hurt. He wanted to hug him, but he wasn't sure what Duo would do. He seemed raw for some reason.

"Do you honestly mean that?" Duo asked. Heero smiled and ruffled his hair. Duo seemed afraid to fix it.

"Of course I do."

"Even if I have to share you with someone else?" Duo asked, his voice so low that Heero almost missed it. Heero stared at him in shock.

"Is that what this is about?" He asked fiercely. Duo squirmed under his gaze.

"You kissed her," Duo hissed accusingly, his tone filled with pain. He gasped as Heero pulled him into a tight hug.

"Silly," he murmured in Duo's ear, "no matter what, you will always be the number one in my life. No woman can change that."

Duo backed off of Heero's embrace.

"You promise?"

Heero curled his pinky around Duo's.

"I promise, you dummy."

End Chapter 3


	5. Chapter 5

The Definition of Love

Chapter 4

Being called a slut by his own mother had been bad and it had hurt, but Duo was good at hiding how much things hurt. That was one of the few things that his father had taught him that had come in handy. It had hurt, but having Heero hold his hand had made him feel better, it always did.

'_Brothers don't hold hands.'_ Duo ignored the voice in his head that told him that. Heero had always held his hand when he was a kid and he didn't see what was wrong with it. It made him feel better, so how could it be wrong? Of course, there was another side to it. Feeling the warmth of Heero's hand on his made all the pain go away, except for an odd pain in his chest that felt hot and tight. Brothers didn't hold hands, but mothers didn't call their sons sluts, either and this wasn't the first time that she had made that insinuation. Had she ever loved him? He tried to think back to his childhood, but it was so hard… Their mother was a sad, bitter person and despite the fact that she often took out her loneliness on them, Duo couldn't help but feel sorry for her. Someone had to and that someone would never be Heero. Besides, she was still Duo's mother and he hated to see how… _aged _she had become. He also couldn't help but think that it was all his fault. Because of his actions, she had given up so much. He had read once that motherhood meant sacrifice, but what if his mom didn't want to sacrifice anything more for his sake? And yet, he also couldn't help but hate her a little.

The toast popped up and Duo was forced to let go of Heero's hand. Emptiness filled him even as he spread jelly onto the toasted bread. Why did he have to feel this way? He had never felt this way with his other friends. Yes, he had felt a little bit of loneliness when he had found out that they were moving and he would probably never see them again, but that was nothing compared to the feeling of emptiness he got when he was away from his brother. As he sat at the wooden table and started to nibble on his toast, he kept an eye on Heero as the other boy got his own breakfast. He'd always had problems sorting out his feelings. He knew that he could be too emotional sometimes, but lately he just felt confused. He didn't feel bad about moving when he should, he realized that he spent more time with his brother than any of his friends, which, according to their mother, was not normal, and he had discovered that, though he did wish for some friends in this new place, as long as Heero was around, he was never truly lonely. There were other feelings inside of him that just kept mixing up to the point that he felt that if he tried to examine them, he would get a headache. He shook his head. It was far too early in the morning to psychoanalyze himself. Eliza was standing at the counter reading a newspaper, though it appeared as though she was using it more as a prop to ignore them than actually any interest in it. She never ate breakfast with them, so it wasn't like this display was anything new.

Heero sat next to him at the table and dug into his cereal; some sort of raison bran. Heero never liked the sugary cereal that Duo did, he said that it tasted like candy and his stomach couldn't handle anything that sweet in the morning. Duo smiled a little when he thought of how different, yet compatible they were. It was strange, like they were two pieces of a puzzle; their shapes were different, but they completed each other.

"Mom, can you hand me the funnies?" He called over to her. He liked multitasking when he was eating and reading the comics was a ritual just like braiding his long hair when he got out of the shower in the morning. Just like his preference for skim milk, the bit with the comics had started with his father. It was one of his many, almost childish, quirks. Every time Eliza saw their dad doing something like this, she would scold him to be more mature, though it was obvious to everyone that it amused her more than it irritated her. It was the little things like that that made Duo miss him and he wish that he didn't. He missed how his father would smell of hazelnut coffee in the morning, he missed how he would pick him up and tuck him under his chin or put him up on his impressive shoulders, he even missed how he could place his tiny hands in just one of his father's large ones. He missed the feel of his old, ratty white t-shirts covering the solid, muscular frame as he hugged him. Thinking about the man filled him with an intense sort of tearing pain that made him want to tear his hair out in frustration and those feelings had never faded as the years had gone on.

Duo waited for his mother to hand the comics over, but she ignored him. He sighed mentally and gave up. It looked like she was in one of her 'moods' this morning and he knew that getting on her bad side was not a good idea. He heard Heero mirror the sigh in his head out loud and smirked a little. He didn't know if Heero had guessed his thoughts, but his older brother had a tendency to say or do what he was thinking. He guessed that that was a sign that they hung out together too much. Sometimes, Heero could tell when things were hurting and know exactly what was wrong. It was nice not to have to say those things out loud. Sometimes, it was the same with Duo. There was just something in Heero's eyes that spoke to him. In those moments, he knew exactly what was going on in Heero's head. Other times, Heero was just too complicated and he felt like he was trying to decipher an alien language. This, apparently, was one of those times, because he was totally unprepared when Heero stood and marched over to their mother. Duo's eyes were wide as Heero grabbed the newspaper.

"What are you doing?!" Eliza screeched. Duo winced. He hated that tone of hers. It was nearly whining, a high pitch that rang in his ears filled with stubbornness and pompous arrogance. He didn't understand how Heero could be so calm and almost callous when he heard that tone. If Duo were in his place, he would have apologized profusely and given the paper back, but Heero made no move to do so. In fact, it seemed as though he was almost teasing her by withholding the paper. The older boy always had been stronger than him. Duo didn't understand how he could not be afraid of her when Duo was. He supposed it was pathetic, after all, she was just a woman, yet she had the strange ability to instill terror in him at times. Other times, he thought that he might be able to stand up to her, but he just didn't see the point. Even if he did, she wouldn't change, she would probably just become more pig headed and hard to live with just to spite him, yet Heero didn't seem all too concerned with these things.

He saw Heero take out the comics from the paper and thrust the rest of it back at Eliza who narrowed her icy blue eyes at him. They reminded Duo of two wolves trying to piss at the same tree.

"How dare you?" Eliza hissed, her teeth clenched tightly. Duo winced, sure that she was going to hit him, but the blow never came.

"He just asked for the comics. You never read them," Heero snapped back and walked to the table. Duo watched his stride with amazement and Eliza returned to the paper grudgingly. He knew that she didn't care for the facts and logic like Heero did. Her son had just insulted her and Duo felt tense, waiting for her to retaliate in some way. Still, she must have understood that she had just lost this battle, because she continued to read, though her back was stiff and her gaze shifted back to them. As Duo's eyes fell on Heero, his brother's own stature changed as though a switch had been flicked. A thick blush grew across Duo's cheeks as Heero's deep blue eyes settled on him. He loved the color of Heero's eyes. He felt as though he could look for that color for a thousand years and not find it anywhere else. They were so deep, it felt like falling into the sky or being surrounded by the lapping waves of the open ocean. They comforted him and for that moment, Duo forgot all about their mother brooding a few feet away. As Heero passed him the comics, he got closer to Duo, their shoulders almost brushing. For some reason, this close proximity made Duo feel hot and he felt as though his blush was going to make him combust.

"Heero, thank you. But, you didn't have to do that," Duo insisted, trying to take the edge off of his sudden rapid heart beat. What was wrong with him this morning? He certainly couldn't chalk it up to excitement of his first day of high school. This was something else. Was he coming down with something? Heero smiled at him and the heat blossomed into a full grown fire. He prayed that his brother wouldn't notice and tease him about it. Heero wasn't the teasing type, but he was sure that the older boy couldn't resist as his face was doing a fair impression of a strawberry.

"Yes, I did," Heero said forcefully, "she's just being a tit," he whispered, though Duo was sure that their mother had heard because her back became so tight it was a wonder she hadn't snapped something, "now, read your comics and finish eating."

Duo felt something inside of him let go and his heart settled. This was the Heero he had always known; the older brother who took care of him and protected him, the brother who, since their two parents had become only one, had done more than a fair share of picking up the slack that their father had left. He was his pillar, so why had he been so anxious at his close proximity?

He did as he was told, eating his toast quickly, but not too quick. He didn't want his brother to scold him about choking. He read the comics as he ate, letting them relax him, though he was still aware of Heero's every movement as the other boy ate his cereal at the same time that he kept one eye on his mother. Duo trusted Heero to keep the vigil. It was strange. He felt like an antelope at a watering hole that needed to be watched after, but that didn't seem quite right. Heero was more like a predator than another antelope, yet he protected him. So, what did that make his mother; a crocodile? But, that wasn't right, either. Heero and Eliza had always had a sort of strange dance and if it hadn't been between his brother and his mother, it would have been amusing to watch. The silence between Eliza and Duo was sharp and strange, but the silence between him and Heero was companionable somehow. Once more he was struck with the thought that this was not how brothers should act towards each other, but he couldn't put his finger on what was wrong about it. He couldn't even figure out if it _was_ wrong, it just felt… different to him.

Duo kept an eye on Heero and, when he saw that he was finished with his cereal, grabbed both his and Heero's dishes before Heero could. Doing this one small thing made him feel a little less useless. It wasn't that he was lazy, but Heero had done most of the unpacking and that had made Duo feel like he had slighted him even though he knew that Heero didn't see it that way. He vowed that he would do something to make it up to his brother, even if he had to wash the toilets or something else that he hated. He secretly liked how his brother looked after him at the same time that wanted to pull his own weight around the house.

"Go get your coat," Heero said when Duo was finished stacking the dishes in the dishwasher. Duo imagined that if someone else his age was being ordered around by their big brother, they would be pissed, but it didn't bother him. He knew that Heero was a little bit of a control freak and that he didn't mean anything by it, it was just a part of personality to take control. Duo smiled at him to show that he didn't think that he was being bossy and ran off. His heart beat quickly again, this time for a different reason. He was going to high school for the very first time! It was at a new school, too, with people he had never met in a building he had never seen! And to top it all off, he was going with Heero! While it was true that they were only three years apart, in the one year that Heero had been in middle school with him, they hadn't seen each other much, so this would be interesting, especially since Heero would be a freshman as well. Duo felt bad about being excited about that. He was sure that Heero was feeling depressed by being a seventeen year old ninth grader, but he was glad that he would be in classes with him. It went a long way to take the sting out of the weirdness of the unknown. That was the reason why he was more excited than scared. He knew that as long as Heero was around, nothing bad would happen. He hadn't had many friends in their old town, no real ones, anyway. There had been too many rumors flying around about him, but this time would be different. No one here knew them, so maybe he would make some new friends. But, he knew that Heero would always remain his best friend and hoped that Heero knew that.

He grabbed both his and Heero's jackets from the hall closet and slipped his black one on. It was only autumn and it wasn't cold enough for their winter jackets, thankfully. He also grabbed his and Heero's sneakers, laying his brother's out carefully for him. He held Heero's blue jacket in a tentative grip as he waited. It smelled like him… He sighed as he waited. Heero was taking a long time. What was he doing, anyway? He had already done the dishes. He shook his head and attempted to put on his sneakers while he still held Heero's jacket. He tied his left shoe's shoelace, then the right, unconsciously humming the 'tying your shoelace' song that his father had taught him when he had first learned how. He looked up sharply as Heero finally stormed into the hall, looking agitated and distracted. Duo frowned.

"You ok?" He asked. Who knew what had happened if Heero had been all alone with their mother. He almost smacked his head against the wall for being so stupid. What if she had retaliated in some way? Heero didn't look hurt, just annoyed, though not at him. Heero nodded, but Duo wasn't reassured. Heero hid his feelings and thoughts too well sometimes. He couldn't even tell if this was something serious and his brother was pissed or if his mother had just made some offhand remark that he was annoyed about. Duo stood up and handed Heero his sneakers. Heero stretched out his arm to take him and Duo finally saw it. Heero was only wearing a green t-shirt and on his arm was a vicious red mark in the shape of fingers… Duo felt rage boiling up in him at the thought of anyone touching his brother in that way. How dare anyone try to hurt him!

Heero smiled at him and Duo felt a little of that anger bleeding away into something softer and warmer.

"It's nothing," Heero said and ruffled Duo's hair. Duo glared at him halfheartedly, watching Heero put on his jacket and he tried to straighten out his hair, trying to hide how it made him feel. Heero only did that if he thought he was being cute or needed to be reassured of something. Heero also thought that it annoyed him; he refused to let him know how good it made him feel.

"Don't do that," Duo said as he followed Heero out the door, but the words didn't sound very sincere to him. He felt most of his anger vanish, but still there was some, deep rooted in his heart. He couldn't get that mark on Heero's skin out of his mind.

Taking a look around the street, Duo decided that he was going to like Arcadia. It seemed like the perfect balance between a small town and a city. It was autumn and a little bit chilly, but Duo didn't mind. Winter near the lake was going to be brutal, though. Duo couldn't wait until spring came. He had never gone fishing before and he wondered if Heero would be interested. As people started to leave their houses for the day, Duo waved at them and they waved back just as cheerfully. It was nice not being stared at like some terrible, alien thing, and yet they were the outsiders in this community and they felt more at peace here than at home. It was a strange feeling.

"So, what classes are you taking again?" Duo asked his brother. He knew that he had at least one with Heero, but he was a little bit nervous about school and hoped that he wouldn't have to go through much of his first day by himself. As Heero recited his classes, Duo almost winced in pity at how depressed his brother sounded when he had mentioned his art and literature classes. Duo cheered up a little when he noted that he and Heero had several classes together. He once again felt sad that Heero had to be a freshman with him, but he was still secretly glad. Suddenly, he froze.

_Playing spaceship in their mom's new car was fun and Heero always knew neat stuff about space ships. The two of them ran around inside of the car, pretending that they had 'landed' it and now had to explore the strange land that lay outside. _

_Duo jumped out of the silver car and heard growling. It was low and heavy, sounding more like a bear than a dog, but as he spun around, he saw that it was just their neighbor's Doberman, Geraldo. It was a stupid name for a dog, really. Duo squealed with happiness seeing the dog. His parents didn't let him have any pets, but he was working on them. He hoped by the time he was nine his dad would let him have a gerbil. Gerbil's were neat. _

"_Hi, Ger-ger!" Duo cried. Geraldo snarled, thick foam dripping it's mouth, the high pitch sound of Duo's cry shot pain into the beast's head._

"_Ger?" Duo took a step back as the dog's red eyes glared into his own violet eyes. Where was Heero? He couldn't hear him in the car anymore. His brother would protect him… but where was he? Duo didn't dare looking away from the large dog. The skin on the dog's muzzle pulled back as it growled, reveling sharp teeth. Geraldo leaped. _

_Duo cried out as the dog's weight landed on him and teeth flashed at him followed by terrible snarling. The dog latched its jaws around Duo's arm and the child screamed. It hurt! Blood poured down his arm and the dog tried to tear through his flesh. _

"_Get off him!" Heero yelled, suddenly appearing behind the dog and slammed the open car door Duo had jumped out of into the dog's side. The Doberman made more snarling noises, but refused to let go. Heero slammed the door again and again against the dog's body until it finally let go of his little brother with a whimper, its coat covered in blood. Heero ran to Duo, who curled against him in shock and Heero lifted him with one arm, running into the safety of their house, screaming for their mother._

Duo stared at the tawny colored stray dog in fear. It was much different looking from Geraldo, but in Duo's terrified mind, they were the same dog. The dog slowly approached him and Duo's heart exploded in a spasmodic rhythm in his chest. The dog was going to eat him, that's what Geraldo had tried to do when he was seven and now this one was going to finish the job…

"Heero?" Duo found the voice to call for his brother. Heero had protected him then, where was he? Where was Heero?

"It's ok, Duo," he heard his brother, but his mind still couldn't register where he was, he just saw the dog in his eyes.

"How do you know?" Duo asked. Heero had said that it was ok, so it was, but he needed to know why. How did Heero always know the truth when it was hard for Duo? Heero always had all the answers. Duo finally managed to pull his gaze away from the dog and saw that Heero was only a few feet away from him.

"Because he's wagging his tail. He's just happy to see you." Duo watched with wide eyes as Heero petted the dog and the mutt ran off. Duo flung himself into Heero's arms. Heero had protected him. Heero would always protect him. Throughout his entire life, that was the one, constant truth…

_Duo watched from his hospital bed as their mother finally left to talk to his doctor. Heero sat on a chair by his bed and watched him, both of them glad that he was finally allowed visitors besides his mother. She didn't have a very good bedside manner. She couldn't see what the big deal was about getting bit by a dog, but Heero understood. Duo stared at his bandaged arm. He couldn't remember what they had done to it, but it didn't hurt so much anymore, it just kind of tingled. _

"_Wha's rabides and why do I have them?" Duo asked, looking at his arm for some sign of the illusive 'rabides' but couldn't see anything._

"_That's 'rabies' and you have them because Ger-ger was sick and he made you sick."_

"_Rabies," Duo tried the word out on his own. It sounded like babies, but why would someone name a sickness after babies? 'Course, babies were pretty gross. _

"_But I don't want to have shots!" Duo exclaimed._

"_You have to, dummy," Heero said, "or you'll get really sick like Geraldo."_

_Duo looked at him with wide eyes. He hated shots, but he hated being sick, too._

"_Really?"_

_Heero nodded solemnly. _

"_But don't worry, it'll just be a second and I'll be here the whole time." _

_They both winced as they heard their mother screaming something about 'malpractice', whatever that was, in the hallway. They both stared at each other in shock as they heard their father's voice as well._

"_You pinky swear you won't leave me?" Duo whispered. Heero smiled and wrapped his pinky around Duo's._

"_I pinky swear."_

Duo was amazed that Heero didn't look at him with frustration or pity when he finally managed to get control of his fear. Heero still understood about his fear and had never thought that it was silly, unlike his mother. It had been a battle just to get her to let his doctor to give him the rabies shots. In the end, it had been their father that had managed to convince her that everything the hospital had done to their son was necessary. Duo was glad when his heart decided that the threat was over and settled down, but as he untangled himself from his brother, he felt an acute loss at the warmth and protection that Heero had given him. It was ridiculous, he was a teenager, but here he was crawling all over his brother like he was a little kid again.

With an artist's eye, Duo looked at the neutral grey of the lockers. It created no headache unlike the lockers at his old middle school that had been pink, green, and orange. Duo had never seen the lockers at Heero's high school, but apparently this was a change for him, too, because he looked at them with relief. Duo felt slightly overwhelmed as other students swarmed them to get to their own lockers. Should he try to talk to someone? Should he try to make new friends right away or wait until it felt right to him? Heero took the decision out of hands by quietly leading him to their first class: gym.

Duo wasn't a huge fan of gym. He wasn't bad at sports, but because he was short and small, the other boys thought that he was a weakling and he had to put twice as much effort into anything he did. As they walked into the small gymnasium, Duo saw that there were already people sitting on the bleachers. He eyed them in anxiety. He had been in the school for only ten minutes and he already felt like a complete alien amongst these people. He wondered if it would be like his old school and people were already divided up into clichés. Of course, at his old school he hadn't been a part of any either, so even after years there he felt alien. He hoped that he wouldn't feel like that here. He noticed that there were girls here, too, so this class probably wasn't segregated by gender. As they sat down, Duo noticed that they were already getting stares. He realized that in a small town like this, it wouldn't matter if it was the first day of school or not, all of these kids knew each other. Duo sat down next to a blonde boy who was about the same height as him. If he had bothered to think about it, he had done so because he didn't feel as anxious around him. To Duo's delight, instead of being annoyed that some strange boy had sat next to him, the blonde boy smiled brightly at him and Duo returned the favor. Duo watched in shock as a boy sitting next to the blonde leaned in to whisper something in the smaller boy's ear. The boy was very, very tall with a strange haircut, but there was a shyness about him that was disarming. There was also something familiar about the look in his visible green eye. It was a very attractive green that spoke of the forest and other earthy things while his blonde companion's green-blue eyes were like the sea, commanding, yet beautiful and kind. Duo blushed when he realized that he had been checking the tall boy out. He knew how sensitive some people were to such things and quickly looked away. The boy was attractive, but Duo couldn't tell if he was aroused by him or not. Then again, the blonde boy was also very nice to look at. Experimentally, Duo looked around at the girls, but he honestly couldn't see the same pleasant qualities he had seen in the two boys, but that didn't make him gay, he was sure of that.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his brother shaking the hand of some blonde girl. A sharp pain exploded in his chest as Heero smiled at her and she smiled back. Heero never smiled at people. He was always somewhat stoic, distant with people, especially people he had just met. He only ever smiled like that at Duo. Duo had to keep a growl from escaping his throat as the girl sat down next to Heero, her hand still in his, and Duo desperately wanted to smack her hand away from him. It was jealousy, Duo realized. He tried to imagine the blonde boy in the girl's place and found that it didn't make him so angry, it was just her. Heero seemed to glance at him out of the corner of his blue eyes, but if he noticed Duo's discomfort, he didn't say anything. The pain in Duo's chest grew to something almost unbearable. He felt like he was going to throw up as Heero finally acknowledged him, but still didn't seem to really pay much attention to him, his eyes fixed on the girl.

'He likes her,' Duo noted miserably. What the hell was wrong with him? He was Heero's little brother, not his keeper. If his brother fell in love with this girl, he should be happy, right? So why was he so angry? Was he really that selfish that he had to have Heero all to himself? He had no right to feel this way, and that was what made it hurt so bad. Heero had always been there for him, always protected him, always loved him, but he was still just his brother and had no say in his life. With each look Heero and the girl shared, Duo could feel him slipping away from his brother. He bit his lip, feeling tears coming. How pathetic was he? He heard Heero introduce him, but the girl didn't seem to like Duo any more than Duo liked her and they ignored each other and the girl resumed to chatting to Heero. Duo watched with heated eyes as the girl, who's name was Relena according to her, placed her hand on Heero's arm. Her voice was so sweet, it was obvious that she was flirting with him, but that wasn't surprising, Heero was beautiful. It was disgusting watching her cling onto him, though.

"Don't mind her, her bark is worse than her bite."

Duo turned to the blonde, who was smiling knowingly at him.

"You should be grateful that she doesn't have any interest in you, I mean, no offense to your brother," the blonde leaned in and whispered in Duo's ear, "but you're definitely the cute one."

Duo's face flamed and he thought that he would combust. Cute? Lot's of people had called him cute when he was little, but not since he had become a teenager. Coming from the blonde, it seemed like a huge compliment. The blonde laughed and Duo relaxed. There was something so wonderfully relaxing about that laugh.

"I'm Quatre Raberba Winner," the blonde said, offering his hand. Duo smiled back. He liked this blonde much better than the other.

"Duo Maxwell-Yuy," Duo said, shaking his hand.

"Trowa Barton," the tall, green eyed boy said, shaking Duo's hand as well. Trowa's smile was more subdued than Quatre's, but Duo could tell that he didn't smile much and he treasured it, suddenly realizing that he made his first friends and warmth mingled with the pain that still remained as the Relena talked with Heero about things so normal they bordered on boring, yet Heero seemed hooked on her words.

Talking with Quatre and Trowa was much easier than it had been with his previous friends. He learned that Quatre was a freshman like him and that he was incredibly rich, but his father had thought that it would be a good idea for him to go to school like a normal kid. Quatre hadn't minded as he and Trowa had been best friends since they had been children. Back then, Trowa's family had been a part of a traveling circus and they had met when Quatre had gone with one of his many, many older sisters to the show. So, when Quatre had been told that he was going to the same high school as his best friend, he had been happy. Trowa's worked for a zoo now instead of the circus and lived in a trailer with his older sister, Catherine. Trowa was also a junior, not a freshman, but didn't seem bothered with being friends with freshman at all. He also appeared to be hesitant to talk about his parents, but Duo understood about that too well and didn't ask about it. He could tell that this had made him gain a little bit more of the green eyed boy's trust. Even as he talked cheerfully with his new friends, he kept looking over to his brother. It was as automatic as breathing.

Duo found out that he and Quatre had all of their classes together and Duo was glad about that. Being around the blonde boy helped him to ignore the terrible pain in his chest whenever he saw Heero. He just couldn't bring himself to talk to his brother. He felt betrayed, but that was wrong. It wasn't like Heero suddenly hated him now that he had met Relena, but Duo still felt so distant from him and he couldn't handle that at a point in his life when he needed his brother by his side. He decided he was the most disgusting person alive, wanting to chain his brother down like that. He also decided that he wouldn't bother Heero, if Heero wanted to date that girl, then he would be glad for him, even if it felt like he was dying inside. When they finally separated into different classes, Duo felt like crying. It was like, if Heero was in his sight, Duo could still have some connection to him, but now there was nothing and he was starting to feel numb inside. Quatre seemed to sense that something was wrong and followed Duo around, sitting next to him and helping him through the day. Duo realized that this was what best friends were supposed to be like. Besides Heero, he had never had one before. It was a terrible, wonderful thing. He felt like he was replacing his brother with someone else, but wasn't that what Heero had done? He felt so bitter, but at the same time, he truly did like Quatre. Was it possible to have two best friends or was it impossible to stay friends with his brother? He couldn't cling to him forever, it wasn't fair. He wasn't a little kid anymore and Heero was almost an adult. What had he expected, that Heero would always be there? That was just juvenile of him to think of that.

School had ended and Duo stood at the road towards their house, waiting for Heero. The bitterness inside of him told him to just go home, Heero could figure things out for himself, but he just couldn't do it. It seemed wrong to take off without him.

"Is your brother going to walk you home?" Quatre asked, suddenly appearing at Duo's side. Duo nodded. Quatre put a hand on his shoulder.

"The first day is tough," he said, "but it's probably just as tough for Heero, don't you think?"

Duo blinked at him.

"I-I guess. It's just…," he sighed, "It's hard."

Quatre nodded.

"I understand. Look, my father has a theater in our basement. It's a dumb, rich guy thing, you know? If you want, you can come watch movies with Trowa and I this weekend."

Duo brightened, his eyes wide.

"Really?!" He exclaimed. Quatre smiled.

"That's better. You're very beautiful when you smile, Duo," Quatre said. Duo blushed. Only one person had ever called him beautiful… but he wouldn't think about that now.

"Anyway, my sister, Jade, has this huge horror movie collection…"

So, for ten minutes, Quatre and Duo talked about the differences between horror movies made in the eighties and the ones that they were putting out now, until Heero finally came out, followed by Relena. Duo's eyes widened and the color drained from his face.

"Oh, my," Quatre murmured, clearly displeased. He watched in alarm as his new friend turned pale and started to hyperventilate.

Shit, _it hurt._ Pain clawed and tightened around Duo's heart and he clutched at his chest, panting as a strange panic filled him.

"Duo! It's alright…" he heard Quatre say and something was pressed into his hand. Duo came back to the real world, the gray that had started to appear in his vision vanishing little by little. He looked at the cell phone in amazement, then looked at Quatre, confused. Quatre just smiled sadly at him.

"Do you have one already?"

Duo shook his head.

"My mom doesn't believe in them."

"Well, you can use this one, I have a bunch of him, my sister, Irea, is always paranoid that I'm going to lose it. It has my number in it. If you ever feel depressed or just need to talk to someone, I'll always answer, ok? Say, where did you get that scar?" Quatre asked as he finally saw the long, thin scar on Duo's palm. It didn't look bad at all, it was just obvious on his skin.

Duo stared at him.

"Oh, it's just a dumb kid thing. I… thank you, Quatre."

Quatre's smile turned bright and relieved.

"What are friends for?" He hugged the braided boy. When he finally released him, he waved him goodbye and jogged to a sleek, black car that was parked in front of the school. Duo stared at the silver phone, clutching it in his hand as though he could will the warmth that remained on the plastic from Quatre's hand into his heart. Hundreds of emotions swirled inside of him and he felt as though he was being torn apart. He was relieved to have finally made a friend. He was happy that Quatre was so kind and seemed to like him, too. He was glad that he finally had someone to talk to. He was upset and lonely and felt abandoned by Heero. He felt a deep hatred for Relena and to top it all off, he was hungry.

Duo still couldn't talk to Heero, even as they walked down the street by themselves. Duo felt as though something vital had been stolen from their relationship, something that they might never get back. He tried to feel angry at Heero, but mostly he just wanted to cry. But, he was guy for fuck's sake, it wouldn't be very manly to cry over his brother and his new girlfriend, so he bottled it all up inside.

"What's wrong?" Heero's voice startled Duo. Where to start? Duo thought.

"Nothing's wrong," he said. He couldn't bear to look his brother in the eyes. He felt that if he looked into those deep blue eyes at that moment, something intense would happen, something that he wouldn't be able to take back later. He felt as though he was standing at the edge of a cliff that was starting to break off. He gasped as Heero suddenly grabbed his arm.

"Duo, you know you can talk to me about anything, right? If there's something bothering you, I'll listen. You're my little brother."

Duo finally managed to look up at Heero. His brother's words almost echoed Quatre's. But, at the same time, they weren't the same at all. This was something that he wasn't sure he could talk about to Heero because his older brother wanted all the answers and Duo didn't have a single one. He wasn't entirely sure what was wrong, just that something was very wrong. Heero had said that he was still his little brother, but why did he feel like that was a lie. It was ridiculous. Had something really changed, or was Duo just being stubborn. He felt like he was falling apart. He wished that he had the luxury of his room so he could cry his eyes out in private. Their dad had once told them that if no one saw it, it was like it had never happened. If he could just break down where no one could see it, he could pretend to be strong again in the morning, maybe he could even figure out just what the hell was wrong with him.

"Do you honestly mean that?" Duo finally asked. He was shocked when Heero ruffled his hair. It was so much like this morning, what had changed in less than twelve hours? Why couldn't he have that back? His hand twitched to smooth down his hair like this morning, but he couldn't bear to do it. He felt like if he changed it in the slightest, it would be like Heero had never done it. Heero honestly believed that nothing had changed between them, so why couldn't he believe that, too?

"Of course I do," Heero said in a reassuring tone and Duo believed him.

"Even if I have to share you with someone else?" The words slipped out before Duo could stop him. Heero stared at him, but Duo couldn't find anything else to say.

"Is that what this is about?" Heero demanded. Duo looked down, unable to look at those amazing, fierce eyes anymore.

"You kissed her," Duo suddenly snapped, his voice cracking with pain. Heero had kissed her, but that wasn't what had changed things, it had just been the final nail on the coffin. But more than that, that was what made Duo feel so betrayed, though he couldn't figure out why. So Heero had kissed a girl, why did that make it hurt so much? Heero hugged him tightly and Duo melted into his warmth. He didn't want to move from this spot, he didn't want Heero to let him go. That was so wrong, but he needed this like he needed to breathe.

"Silly," Heero murmured in his ear and Duo had to force himself not to shudder as his warm breath slid across his skin, "no matter what, you will always be the number one in my life. No woman can change that."

Hope, beautiful but fragile, blossomed in Duo's heart. Always be Heero's number one? That would be a wonderful thing, and the odd thing was, he truly believed that. Why had the thought of being replaced by a woman scare him so badly? Maybe because he always wanted to be number one in Heero's life and he felt that he could never compete with a woman. Maybe because he was so wrapped in his brother that the thought of living without him was actually painful.

"You promise?"

"I promise, you dummy," Heero said as he pinky swore. The rest of the way home was made in silence, but this time, it didn't bother either of them.

As they made home, Duo's hunger got the best of him, so when Heero ran up the stairs to start on his homework, Duo went to the kitchen. Some of their neighbors had visited them yesterday and there was a piece of cake with his name on it. Actually, it was his mother's, but it was a small piece and dinner wasn't for several hours. He promised himself that he would make that apple spice cake that she loved to make it up to her. He opened the refrigerator and pulled out the slice of cake. It was angel food with chocolate frosting and his mouth almost watered at the sight of it. He had had lunch, but as Heero loved to tease him, he was still a growing boy and had the appetite of a shrew (1).

"Stealing food, now? And before dinner at that," his mother said from behind him, tapping her nails angrily on the wooden counter. Guiltily, Duo put the slice of cake back even as his stomach growled and closed the refrigerator door.

"Your father would be ashamed of you!" Eliza snapped.

"Yeah, well, he's not coming back, is he?" Duo said before he even thought of the words. Eliza strode up to him and slapped him across the face. Duo pressed his hand to the wound and stared at her.

"It's your fault he' not coming back!" She snarled, "you're the one who chased him away and made him do what he did! It's all your fault."

She leaned in and backed him up against the refrigerator, a terrible furious fire in her eyes.

"Say it," she hissed, "it's all your fault, say it!"

"It's all my fault," Duo said, the words coming easily from his heart to his mouth.

"Go to your room," his mother ordered, "Heero and I will eat dinner alone and you're not to come downstairs until I tell you to tomorrow, do you understand?"

"Yes, mother," Duo murmured and walked past her.

'I know it's my fault, mom,' he thought to himself as he walked up the stairs, 'more than either you or Heero will ever know.'

End Chapter 4

Arrgh! Why did this fic turn out this angsty?! Sigh, why can't I ever write something fluffy and cute?

(1) Shrews eat the most of any animal in the world because of their size, basically, all they do is hunt for food and eat just in order to keep breathing.


	6. Chapter 6

The Definition of Love

Chapter 5

Author's Note: Ok, here are the boys' ages since some people have confessed to being confused: Heero is seventeen, Duo has just turned fifteen, Trowa is seventeen, Quatre is fourteen, and Wufei is sixteen. Duo and Heero are three years apart, because of their birthday placements, Heero won't turn eighteen for a few more months and Quatre is only fourteen because he has a late birthday. Recap: Quatre, Duo, and Heero are all freshmen though Heero is older. Trowa is a senior and Wufei is a junior. Relena is also a freshman but since it's a small town, they all know each other even if they are a few years apart. Heh, I never thought that this fic would get this far. This is a fairly long one (for me anyway). I posted this fic on and I was shocked to find that people liked it there as well. I really don't know how long The Definition of Love is going to be. It could be anywhere from 10 to 20 chapters at this point. I know what I want to happen, I just don't know how long it's gonna take for me to get there. Kind of like Solstice. When I wrote up the notes for that work, I had no idea that I would reach 100,000 words by the third chapter. Notes are deceiving and this thing isn't exactly easy to write. There isn't going to be much lemon here because I don't think that it needs it. It was never written to be a smut fic. I also have a huge gap in my notes that I don't know how to fill. It's killing me.

Oh, big thing: have you ever been working on a fic, then heard a song that was so perfect it almost made you cry? That was me and the song 'Your Rain'. It fits this fic soooo well! I was shocked. I've had the song for a very long time and listen to it all the time, but it never clicked until when I was writing this chapter and I went 'holy shit, that's exactly what's going through Duo's mind!' So, yes, 'Your Rain' and several other Silent Hill songs will be used in this fic, because the more I listen to them, the more I realize how well they fit with different characters, and I didn't have to change a damn thing in this fic to make them fit! When I tell you to listen to them, I am not remotely joking. Go onto Youtube to listen to them. Or look for a site called 'Silent Hill Fever' to download them for free.

Heero heard Duo's music from the kitchen as he set the table. He wasn't used to hearing this sort of music from his brother and the lyrics gave a heavy atmosphere to the home. He was glad when the music switched in the middle of the song, but the choice wasn't much better in his opinion. Heero sighed heavily. Duo was in a dark mood tonight. Sure enough, the next song made him want to march upstairs and demand what was wrong. The music was loud, but strangely, Eliza didn't yell at him to turn it off. The table was set and the smell of chicken was warm and thick in the air. Heero walked to the steps.

"Duo, dinner!" He yelled, yet the music didn't stop.

"Your brother will not be joining us for dinner," their mother said from the kitchen in her cold, flat voice. Heero marched up to her.

"Why?" He demanded.

"He is being punished," Eliza said simply as though that explained everything.

"But why?" Heero pressed. Not being allowed to eat dinner wasn't a usual punishment and Duo certainly wasn't a juvenile delinquent. Eliza narrowed her blue eyes at him.

"I am the parent here, Heero, or have you forgotten? If you want to keep questioning me, you can join your brother upstairs right now and save us both some time," with that, she turned on her heel and dished up some food on her plate at the stove and sat down. Heero gritted his teeth, but followed her anyway.

Heero did his and Duo's laundry as he waited for their mother to go to bed. When he was sure that she was in her room, he snuck into kitchen and warmed up the leftovers of dinner. By the time he was outside of Duo's room, his music was still playing but at a much reduced volume. Duo was sitting on his bed, reading something in one of their textbooks, his back to Heero. Heero turned off the music, but Duo didn't seem to notice.

"Duo?"

"I'm doing homework," Duo murmured. Heero sighed. He had hoped that after talking to him after school, his little brother would have stopped hiding from him. Duo finally seemed to smell the food Heero had brought him and turned to look at it hungrily, giving Heero a good view of the red mark on his cheek. Heero put the plate down on Duo's desk and sat with him on the bed, looking intently at the mark.

"What the hell did she do?" Heero demanded. Duo just blinked at him, seeming confused, then remembered what was on his face. His back stiffened.

"Mom's gonna kill you when she finds out that you brought me food," he tried to change the subject, but Heero was too stubborn.

"I mean it, Duo! What the hell were you two arguing about that she felt she had to hit you?!"

Duo just shrugged.

"We weren't arguing about anything."

That was the truth and Duo was just as stubborn as his older brother. There was no way he was going to tell him anything.

"Then she hit you for no reason?!"

"Just get the hell out!" Duo suddenly snarled. Heero stared at him. Duo hardly ever raised his voice, especially to him.

"Fine," he said in defeat, heading towards the door, "but eat your dinner. If you won't tell me what's going on, there's no reason for you to be punished, is there? Good night, Duo."

"'Night, Heero," Duo said, feeling his temper vanish, "thank you for the food."

Heero just smiled back at him and closed the door behind him. He was sure that things would make more sense to him in the morning.

"Good night, Rashid," Quatre called to his bodyguard and chauffeur. The tall man bowed to him on his way out to the servant's housing.

"Good night, Master Winner."

Quatre watched him go with a heavy sigh. It was sad how close he felt to the man, but he could never be anything more than 'Master Winner.' He hated that. The man had been by his side since he was a toddler and his father treated the man like he treated all the other servants. Sometimes Quatre wondered about the so-called 'benefits' of his 'privileged' life. He had never been to the servant's quarters and wondered if it was as nice as this house. He doubted it. Somehow, his thoughts drifted to earlier today. He had thought that his first day of high school would have been a lot more imposing, but it wasn't so bad. A lot of his friends were older than him and already in high school, so at least he hadn't been alone and best of all, Trowa had been there. Despite his father's constant bullying, Trowa was his best friend and had been since they were kids. It was nice going to school with him. Then there was that new kid, Duo. Quatre hadn't expected to make new friends so quickly, but it had somehow been very easy. He was surprised that the subdued boy hadn't been scared away by how forward he had been, but there was something about him that made Quatre want to protect him and brighten his day. There was something in his eyes, he seemed broken and sad and he was sure that his older brother suddenly dating out of the blue hadn't helped him feel secure. That and Quatre really did like the long haired boy. His sisters would say that it was the rebellious streak in him, that he knew that his father would be against him being friends with someone so 'common', but Quatre didn't think that he was that shallow. He also didn't think that Duo was quite as 'common' as his father would think. Talking to Duo had been easy, much easier than the pompous, arrogant children that his father had tried to make Quatre's friends. Quatre's mind also wandered to Heero. It wasn't a good sign that Heero was dating Relena Darlian-Peacecraft, but he was only his friend's brother and Quatre certainly wasn't going to be the one to try to break them up, he just wished that Heero hadn't become so fixated so quickly. Duo had seemed so devastated when he had seen Heero kiss her that Quatre couldn't help but wonder what their relationship was like since he wasn't close at all to his own siblings. Giving Duo his cell phone had definitely been a spur of the moment decision, but seeing the violet eyed boy near tears had made something twist in Quatre's gut. His father was always accusing him of being weak and soft hearted, but Quatre couldn't help it, there was something about another person's pain that made him want to fix everything for them. As Quatre walked up the huge staircase to his room, he passed by his father, but neither of them said a word to each other.

The next morning was just more of the same fair as far as Quatre was concerned. He got up, got dressed, ate breakfast, same old, same old. His father actually decided to grace him with his presence and was sitting at the breakfast table, reading the newspaper. It wasn't until Quatre had finished eating that he remembered that he was supposed to go over to Trowa's after school. They usually didn't meet at Trowa's home because his older sister seemed to have grudge against him for some reason, but Quatre couldn't invite him over while his father was here. Fortunately, he was leaving this weekend to go to some conference. There was no way he was going to subject Duo to his father's conservative views and stifling behavior. Quatre mused about how easy it must be for other people to bring their friends over while he had to constantly measure his friends up in his father's eyes to see if he would be willing to risk having them meet. He was a coward, he thought, a stronger person wouldn't care about what his father thought, but he didn't want his friends to suffer because his father had such high expectations out of him. Quatre couldn't care less about what his father expected of him. He liked his friends just fine, thank you. He hated this. It was a good thing that his father wasn't the type to ask how his first day at school had gone, because he wouldn't have been able to tell him anything. He was sure that his father wouldn't approve of his dislike to THE Relena Peacecraft and his friendship with a boy that no one knew anything about and 'dressed like a punk', his father's words, of course. It was enough to make him want to scream, but his father would probably lecture him about that as well. He wondered if things would have been different if his mother were still alive or if she had been as uptight as his father. His older sister, Irea, said that she had been a very cool and nice woman, but when speaking of the dead, Quatre wasn't sure whose opinion he could trust.

Would he even need to tell his father that he wouldn't be coming home after school? He was sure that the man wouldn't notice his absence, but there was still that childish part of himself that made him tell his father his plans.

"I won't be coming home after school today. I have a previous engagement with a friend."

Shahir Winner folded his newspaper and looked at his only son with intense brown eyes, a rare occurrence.

"Don't try to fool me, Quatre. You're going to see that circus boy, aren't you?" His father asked, his voice cold and clipped. Quatre narrowed his eyes at his father. He should deny it, he realized, it would be fairly easy to lie and sidestep this argument, but a strange perversity hit him.

"His name is _Trowa_, father, and he doesn't belong to the circus anymore and yes, I am seeing him after school."

"No, you won't," his father sighed heavily, "I should have put a stop to this years ago. You will not see him anymore. It is embarrassing, my only son, playing with some… some clown! The media would have a field day if they found out that this family had ties to that sort of person! Can't you think of this family for once? Your mother would be mortified, God rest her soul!"

Quatre clenched his fists so tightly that his neat nails dug into his skin.

"You have no say in who I befriend!" Quatre could feel the fight escalating out of control, but he no longer cared, "and you cannot keep me from seeing him!" Quatre got up to leave and his father smiled snidely.

"Oh, I can't? I'm your father! You will sit down and listen to me!"

"No, I won't," Quatre snapped.

"If you don't, consider your allowance cancelled. You will have no access to any money, let's see how that… boy… likes you when you can't spend a cent!"

"I don't care!" Quatre yelled, "and for your information, Trowa isn't like those 'friends' you forced me to play with when I was younger, he doesn't care about my money! I am so sick of your shit!"

"What did you say?" Shahir said, his voice a harsh whisper. Quatre didn't respond, he marched up the steps and gathered his things for school, then left the house. No one tried to stop him.

Quatre had never had to walk anywhere before, but despite what most people thought, he was not the helpless, pathetic type of person that others in his social class were and he managed to find his way on the right road to school quite easily. He often wondered why his father had insisted on living in Arcadia. He supposed that it was because the town was so small and the people here respected each other's privacy. It was a wonder that Rashid hadn't shown up, but his father probably thought that he was incapable of walking to school on his own and thought that this would be a fitting punishment. Well, he was going to be pleasantly surprised. He hated having this sort of duality in his life. He loved his family. There had been times as a child that his father had been there for him and had acted as a father should, but as he had gotten older, those moments had slowly stopped happening. Still, he did love his father, even though they fought all the time. But, he also loved his friends and trying to choose between the two was literally impossible. He couldn't sacrifice one for the other; he just couldn't make up his mind on the subject. Then there was Trowa… If he really had to choose between his father and his best friend… he wasn't sure at the moment that his father would win, love and honor be damned.

_3:30 AM, Heero crept into Duo's room. He wasn't sure why tonight of all nights he had finally decided to do this, it was like some siren call and he couldn't pull away. He didn't dare to risk closing the door behind him in case the noise woke up his little brother. Duo's face was so soft and relaxed in sleep, his chestnut braid curled up on the pillow like a cat. Heero pressed his hand to Duo's cheek. He had touched his little brother hundreds of times, but this time was different, he could feel it. It was something in the air, some tension, it made his body feel tight and hot. Duo's skin was soft and pale in the dark room. His heart was pounding so hard, he worried that the younger boy would hear it and awaken, but he never did. Even as Heero leaned down to kiss him, he didn't wake up. Duo tasted sweet, like some sort of indescribable fruit and his mouth was moist. His first kiss… it felt so good, like everything he had wanted in his life had somehow been achieved in one single moment. He never wanted to be parted from those lips. As he kissed him, Heero felt Duo's hair with his fingertips. It was as silky as Heero had thought it would be. The thick braid was heavy, but like water at the same time. He wouldn't be satisfied with just touching his hair, he realized, and his hand started to explore his little brother's body. This was wrong, his mind screamed at the same time that his heart was screaming just how right it was. He could taste Duo's moans as he touched him through his pajamas, his chest, his stomach, his thighs… Heero shuddered with each new curve explored and touched, cataloging in his mind forever. His hand finally rested on Duo's groin, the little bulge there felt warm and comfortable in his palm. Not for the first time, Heero wondered if he looked the same as when he was three and they had used to bathe together. _

_Heero almost screamed as a large hand grabbed him by the back of his neck, pinching the skin hard enough to bruise and dragged him out of the room. The light of the hall was harsh and far too real as Heero was rudely brought out of his surreal moment in Duo's room as though he was waking from a dream, but the remaining warmth on his hand and moistness on his lips told him that it was no dream. The child cried out as his back was suddenly shoved into a wall. One of the large hands slapped him across the face and he looked into his mother's furious, crazy blue eyes. _

"_What do you think you're doiiing?!' She screeched so loudly that Heero feared that Duo would awake and hear them. What would he do if his brother knew what he had done? He would surely die of shame, he thought. Duo could never know… _

"_Do you want to go to hell?!" Another slap, "well?! Do you?!"_

_In that moment, Heero didn't care about heaven or hell. He just wanted to be with Duo!_

"_Do you want to turn out like __**him**_?!" _Eliza screamed, shaking Heero against the wall by his pajamas, "do you want to end up like your bastard father?!"_

_Heero shook his head frantically. No, he wasn't like him! That was totally different… he loved Duo and he would never hurt him, and he would never hurt his mother, either. Not like that. He loved his family, even if it wasn't perfect sometimes… _

_His mother grabbed him by his hand, the same hand that had touched Duo so intimately, and dragged him to the kitchen._

"_I will fix this," he heard his mother muttering, "I'll fix this and everything will be perfect again. I'll nip it in the bud, yes, I couldn't save Jonathan, but I can save my son!" _

_Was she talking about Duo, or him? Heero couldn't tell, but the look in her eyes scared him. He had only seen that look a handful of times, and it was terrifying. He watched with huge blue eyes as she dragged him to the stove and turned it on low._

"_No!" he cried, trying to break her grip. He screamed as she pressed his hand onto the hot stove top. He could feel it, a heat so hot, it felt like it was searing his bones and it throbbed… Finally, his hand was released and he brought it to his chest, cradling it as he looked up at his mother with a dazed stare of betrayal._

"_Don't you look at me like that!" she hissed. She slapped him again and grabbed his shoulders, shaking him roughly._

"_Now do you see what will happen to you if you do nasty things like that?! I can assure you that hell will feel much worse! I'm only thinking about your interests, Heero, so don't you dare look at me like that! Now, say it, say you will never touch your brother like that again! Your brother, for God's sake! Say it, Heero!" _

_Heero pushed her back, breaking away from her and ran to his room, feeling her running after him, but he was faster. He slammed the door behind him and locked it. He heard her pounding on the door and he slid to the floor, cradling his burnt hand and sobbing._

When Heero awoke, he was disorientated and it felt like he had gone back in time. But, instead of pastel green walls, these walls were cream colored and the ceiling was higher, the door a light beige color, not the dark brown wood of the house he had grown up in. His mother was not pounding on the door and, though there were tears on his cheeks, his hand did not hurt, not really. He did feel it burning, but he knew that it was all in his head. It was just a dream, nothing more, but he curled his hand against his chest protectively anyway.

Duo also had a nightmare, though his was less concrete and by the time he had awoken, he could barely understand it. All he could really remember was someone talking about a 'perfect family', the smell of Jasmine tea, and a much younger Heero playing baseball. When he woke, he was groggy and very confused and feeling depressed from his dream, though he couldn't really remember it or why it would make him feel that way. It didn't matter anyway. 'Perfect family', what a load of shit. No one's family was perfect, even back when his father had been around, they had had problems. He shook his head. He didn't want perfect, but he did wish that things were different. He wished that his father was back and he wasn't consumed by guilt about what had happened, he wished that his mother and Heero were happy. But Duo knew that wishing didn't solve anything and rolled out of bed. He got dressed and got his bag together for school. He forgot what his mother had said to him last night about not being allowed downstairs and took his dirty dish from last night downstairs to the kitchen. As he cleaned up the mess and put it in the dishwasher, he vowed that he would apologize for what he had said last night. He had been selfish, it wasn't her fault that his dad wasn't around anymore and it had to be hard for her. She wasn't in the kitchen, so he looked for her in the den and saw that she had a fire going, which was strange because the cold weather wasn't supposed to start up until next week, but he ignored that oddness of it. She was sitting in front of the fire with her back to him, but he could still see what she was doing. She was looking through an old photo album, pausing every so often to look at a picture. Her eyes suddenly settled on a page and her features tightened. He watched in shock as she suddenly tore out the page.

"Mom, what are you-?" Duo approached her, but she didn't seem to notice as she tossed the page of photos into the fire. Duo gaped as he watched the photographs curl and burn. He watched as she flipped through more pages, coming across another one that seemed to catch her eye. Duo leaned forward and saw that the page was filled with photos of his father's family. There was his grandfather and grandmother, who had died when Duo was just a toddler and he barely remembered them at all. There were two of his aunts, Aunt Sheryl and Aunt Rosie; neither he had seen in the last five years. There were even a few pictures of his father when he was a bit younger, his arms wrapped around his cousin, Magdalene, both of them laughing like teenagers, their bright blue eyes staring at him from the photograph. As Magdalene's eyes stared at Duo, he gasped, feeling as though he had been punched. It had been four years since he had seen his great cousin. Out of all of his relatives on his father's side, he remembered Magdalene most of all, she was also the one that had visited the most frequently.

"_Is a great cousin reeeeally old?" Duo asked his father. Jonathan laughed happily as they walked downstairs, running a large hand through his shaggy chestnut hair. _

"_No kiddo, she's younger than your mom."_

_That admission made Duo's eyes widen almost comically._

"_Wow! Does she look like mommy, too?"_

_His father shook his head._

"_No, she looks just like you." _

_As they came into the living room, Duo gasped as he saw his 'great cousin' for the first time. His father was right, she did look just like him! Her eyes were blue instead of violet and her long hair was curly while his was straight, but beyond that, there were a lot of similarities. She wore a pure white dress and as she kneeled down to greet the small boy, she smiled prettily._

"_Hello, Duo, I'm Magdalene(1)."_

_They shook hands and Duo saw that her hand was kind of small and slender. _

"_Magdalin?"_ _Duo struggled with the name. Magdalene giggled and patted his head._

"_You can call me Maggie, ok, sweetie?" _

_Maggie watched with wide eyes as her nephew slipped off the monkey bars and fell onto the ground with a thud. Duo sobbed as pain stung in his knee, the skin had come off and he was bleeding badly. Maggie got to him quickly and swept him up into her arms._

"_Are you alright?" She asked, panicked. She was babysitting Heero and Duo while their parents went out to the movies. It was common for her to come over and play with them and neither she nor the children minded her presence. She didn't have any children of her own and enjoyed their company, but in times like this, she seemed to struggle with knowing what to do._

"_I want Heero!" Duo sobbed in pain._

"_Alright, let's go find your brother," Maggie said, starting to panic._

_Duo watched, enthralled as Maggie read a book in the living room, sipping at some strange colored liquid in a china cup. Whatever she was drinking smelled funny, like grass._

"_Wha's that?" Duo asked. Maggie looked at him with a bright smile._

"_It's tea, dear. Would you like to try some?"_

"_Yeah!"_ _Duo said excitedly._

Duo felt tears prickling at his vision. He watched as his mother went to tear the page of photos out like the last one and he grabbed her arm in a tight grip.

"Stop it!" He yelled, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. His breath came out in pants and he felt himself start to hyperventilate. Spots of grey and black came over his eyes and he held onto his mother's arm tight enough to bruise, a force that he had never used before, especially on her. She looked at Duo in shock and pain.

"Stop that!" Duo screamed in a panic, "If you do that, it's like she never existed!" The tears broke, pouring down his cheeks as his breath hitched in his throat. Eliza's face twisted into a snarl and she pushed him away, but he refused to let go of her, instead trying to wrestle the photo album away from her.

"What the hell is going on?!" Heero yelled as he ran into the room.

"Get your brother off of me!" Eliza snarled, but startled by Heero's sudden appearance. Duo took that moment as her fingers loosened their grip on the album to grab it from her and ran out of the room with it.

"Duo!" Heero took off after his brother as he fled the house with the red leather book.

Duo didn't care that someone was chasing him, all he knew was that he _had_ to save these pictures. That was the only thing that was important right now. He felt someone's hand on his arm, pulling him to a stop and he almost tripped.

"No!" He cried, struggling against the person

"Duo, relax!"

Duo did just that as he realized that it was not his mother that had followed him down the street, but his brother. Heero would understand…

"She was burning dad's pictures," he murmured. Heero's brow furrowed in confusion. Why would Duo care if their father's picture was destroyed…

"Oh," it finally dawned on him, "you mean Maggie?"

Duo nodded, wrapping his arms around the leather book and hugging it close to his chest. Heero sighed.

"Are there any pictures of her left in there?"

Duo nodded again and Heero felt something tight loosen inside of him. He didn't want to think about what would happen to Duo if their mother had succeeded.

"But I can't protect her from mom!" Duo cried. Heero put a hand on his arm, feeling him shake.

"Yes, we can. There must be someplace we can hide it."

Duo looked up at him, his wide eyes full of hope.

"We can?"

"Of course. She'll be safe, Duo, I promise."

Heero felt Duo's muscles relax and that wild, almost crazy desperateness in his eyes started to ebb. He watched as his little brother reverently put the photo album into his book bag.

"Come one, neither of us has had breakfast. I'll buy us some bagels."

"Ok," Duo said, subdued. That spoke to Heero more than the shaking. Usually Duo would fight with him about buying him anything, especially when he could afford it. It scared him when his brother got like this, it was almost like he was in shock. He hoped that some hot food would perk him up. As they walked down the street, Heero cursed their mother in every way that he knew.

That look in his eyes… that desperateness that was almost insanity… it was so much like his, Eliza thought as she looked into the flames. She wondered if she could burn the whole house down, burn away her old life and just leave. It would be so easy… but she had thought that moving away would make things better, but she could never forget. She had never thought that she would be a single mother. Things like that you heard on TV, but to have it actually happen! She bit her lip. Duo looked so much like his father, sometimes she had to remind herself that it was her son, not her husband. No, ex-husband, he wasn't around anymore. That was Duo's fault, so shouldn't she call that suicide? He did look an awful lot like him… what was it about the Maxwell family and that annoying beauty? Even Jonathan's sisters had had it. She had always looked at Duo and Jonathan together and thought how beautiful they were, but now that was a curse. She couldn't pretend that her son was her husband, it could never work that way, could it? No, her son was a poor substitute for the real thing, and then there was that strange defiance in his eyes. Jonathan had never had that look. Craziness, yes, but Duo's eyes were different, like how his were violet and her husband's had been blue. It was just different enough for her to break the spell of memory. She hated him for that, he had no right to remind her of all things he had taken away from her! That creature who had taken her husband away from her forever…

As the northern street they were on converged with a western one, Duo spotted someone walking ahead of them and ran to him. Heero was startled momentarily until he realized that it was the blonde boy Duo had befriended yesterday. Jealousy hit him like a storm as the two boys chatted easily. Why did he feel that way? This was Duo's new friend, not a bully or enemy that needed to be beaten to protect his brother. It was no wonder that Duo had been out of sorts yesterday with his jealousy with Relena, and that jealousy had been understandable, unlike this, which, in Heero's mind, was just foolish. Well, he wasn't going to let it get the best of him. If this was Duo's friend, then he would just have to put aside his feelings and try to get along with him. He told himself that it was a good thing that Duo had made a friend so quickly, that the blonde seemed to be a good person, but it was no use, even as he joined them and shook the blonde's hand, jealousy reared its ugly head to take a great big bite out of his ass. This was not going to be pleasant. He wanted the pretty blonde boy away from his brother! A dark thought hit him; what if the boy wasn't so pretty, would he have been as jealous? But that didn't make any sense! What difference did it make if Duo's friends were attractive, and why did he even think that the blonde was pretty? Boys weren't pretty, especially if you were straight.

"Quatre, this is my older brother, Heero. Heero, this is my friend, Quatre."

Heero nodded to Quatre, who smiled brightly. Oddly enough, that smile made him feel a little better, but the jealousy stayed.

"What happened to your driver?" Duo asked. Quatre waved his hand like it was no big deal.

"My father and I had a fight, so I left earlier than I usually do. He's probably going to make me walk to and from school as punishment," Quatre rolled his green-blue eyes and Duo laughed. Heero felt his chest tighten. He had never heard Duo laugh with anyone but him.

"Yeah, I just had to get out of the house before my mom and I got into a big argument," Duo said. It wasn't exactly a lie, Heero thought, and it was a good thing that Duo had gotten out of there before there mother had done something violent. He vowed to make sure to not leave his brother's side after school to make sure that she wouldn't try to hit him for what he had just pulled with the album. Though, really, he had every right to. They didn't have much to remember their relatives by, just pictures, and Heero knew how important it was to Duo.

"Heero, I've invited Duo to my house this weekend, would you like to come as well?" Quatre asked.

"He can't," Duo murmured looking at the ground as they walked, "he has a date with Relena."

Heero winced. Duo actually wanted him to come with them? He was sure that it would be more enjoyable than him going on a date with a girl he didn't even know… but he had promised her and Duo would never let him back out of it. Still, he was suddenly regretting ever meeting Relena Darlian-Peacecraft for just this moment. Here was an excuse to get out of the house with Duo without their mother hounding him about it. After all, he was sure that if Quatre was there, she wouldn't have a problem with it. What was it about women that made him feel so hesitant, but he was able to feel so relaxed with his male brother and male friend? Being with women was such a show, like a game of chess, every move had to be thought out and he hated that manipulative behavior. But with guys, he could just be himself, he didn't have to wear a mask just to keep a friendship going. He felt more confident with his brother and as for Quatre, he was sure that the blonde would like him as a friend. He seemed to like Duo, of course, who could not like Duo? But, if Duo liked the person that Heero really was, then Quatre might like him, too. If he was friends with Quatre, maybe this strange jealousy would go away, but beyond that, as he saw Duo chatting with him so happily, he realized that he wanted a friend like that, someone he could talk to, not because he had something important to say, but because he enjoyed his company.

"Oh," Quatre said with wide eyes, "I had totally forgotten about that! I'm sorry, Heero."

Heero nodded.

'But not as sorry as I am,' he thought. He almost laughed at the absurdity of it all. He was dreading a date with a beautiful girl and wanted to hang out with his little brother and new friend instead, and said new friend, instead of congratulating him on getting a girl friend as pretty as Relena, was apologizing for the same thing that Heero was hesitant about! He wasn't sure if he and Quatre were on the same wave length or if it was just luck.

"Quatre!" A deep voice called from behind them. Heero spun around and saw the green eyed boy from yesterday joining them on the street. Quatre's sea green eyes lit up and he bounced like a puppy.

"Trowa!" Quatre ran over to the much taller boy and hugged him, speaking so quickly Heero was amazed that the other boy could understand him, asking him about his morning and how his sister was. Heero smirked and shook his head. Quatre reminded him of what Duo had been like as a child. That thought made Heero frown. Duo didn't act like that very much anymore. He didn't understand why that bothered him so much. Duo was a teenager now and it was a given that he wouldn't be the same as when he was little. And with everything that had happened, Duo had every reason to be more reserved than he had been, but Heero missed that bright eyed exuberance for life that his brother had once had.

Heero blinked as he saw someone running after Trowa. It couldn't be…

"Wufei?" Heero said in amazement. The Chinese boy that he had met yesterday finally caught up and glared at Trowa.

"Barton! Do you think that you could slow down for the rest of us?" He growled. Yep, it was Wufei, alright. Trowa raised an eyebrow at him.

"You should walk faster, then," he quipped. Wufei grumbled something in Mandarin. Quatre beamed at him and bowed.

"Good morning, Wufei."

Wufei returned the bow.

"Winner," his dark brown eyes fell on Heero, "and Yuy, it's good to see you again."

Heero nodded.

"You live down here?"

Wufei shook his head.

"No, this street just crosses with mine. I live on the lake."

"That must be great!" Duo said excitedly. He thought of having a house on the water, the quiet serene landscape of a lake, the silence only broken by the various sounds of nature, waking each morning to the placid waters and smell of fresh water. He wished that he could live in a place like that.

"You must be Duo," Wufei said, shaking Duo's hand.

"Uh, yeah…" Duo looked confused.

"He's in my math class," Heero explained.

"Heero, this is Trowa Barton, Duo, this is Chang Wufei." They all shook each other's hands. Duo quirked his head to the side as he looked at Wufei.

"You're Chinese, right? So your family's name is Chang?"

Wufei smiled at him. Usually people would be too frightened of him to ask such questions. Was this boy completely oblivious or did he just not care?

"Yes, though not many Americans realize that."

Duo blushed.

"Well, our mom's half Japanese."

Wufei looked at Heero.

"That explains your brother, but you don't look anything like him and I assume you don't look much like you're mother, either."

"No," Duo said with an odd, small smile, "I look like my dad, he's all American."

Heero rolled his eyes.

"If anyone has to do a report on genetics, you can just interview our family," Heero muttered. It was true, he had his mother's Asian looks and English blue eyes and dark brown hair and Duo had their father's straight, chestnut hair. Though Duo looked a lot like their father, no one could say that Duo's odd violet eyes were anyone's but his.

"How do you three know each other?" Duo asked, "I know that Quatre and Trowa met when they were kids and Quatre went to the circus and Trowa was performing there," Duo said for Heero's benefit, who looked interested at the mention of the tall boy being an ex-circus performer, "but how are you guys and Wufei friends?"

To Heero and Duo's amusement, Trowa started to laugh, a strained and rare sound, but beautiful, Wufei looked ashamed, and Quatre blushed, which was slightly startling with his pale complexion.

"Ok, there has to be a good story there," Duo said. Trowa grinned.

"We went to the same middle school together."

Wufei groaned.

"Barton…" he warned.

"Our middle school was under construction that year, so the third graders got to go to the middle school a year early. Quatre and I, as you said, Duo, had already known each other. Well, on Quatre's first day, he backed into Wufei at lunch and spilled Wufei's food all over him. Wufei beat him up."

Heero and Duo's eyes were wide as they heard the tale. Wufei groaned again.

"I was such a stupid… punk back then!" Wufei bemoaned, "I was in fifth grade and I had just moved here with my family from California but because of my looks everyone assumed I was from China and got picked on all the time. I had to prove that I wasn't a push over just to make the bullying stop and since then, everyone's been afraid of me," Wufei explained with a strange mix of pride and shame in his voice. Duo nodded.

"Everyone in my middle school thought that I was weak because I look a bit… feminine. Even after I proved that I could take care of myself, people continued to make that distinction for the three months that I was there. It drove me up the wall, all the bullying and fighting."

"Then, what happened?" Quatre asked with wide eyes.

"I showed up at his school," Heero said, "and I told everyone that the next person to pick on my little brother would learn that the 'touch of death' was indeed a real thing."

Wufei, Trowa, and Quatre stared at the blue eyed boy in shock, not noticing Duo as he tried to contain his laughter.

"You know martial arts?" Trowa asked.

"No," Heero said slyly, "they just assumed that because I looked Asian, I would know how to fight."

Wufei laughed.

"But how did you become friends if you beat up Quatre?"

Wufei shrugged.

"I found out that I had blown the whole thing out of proportion, apologized profusely, and explained why I had done what I did. When Trowa refused to forgive me for beating up his best friend, I followed the two of them around until they finally either forgave me or paid me back for the injustice I had done to Quatre."

"Oh, great," Duo grumbled, "just what I need, another stubborn male."

Heero grinned.

"You know you love us."

The five of them laughed as Duo swatted his brother over the head with his (now very heavy) book bag. They walked to school in a cluster, Quatre pointing out various restaurants that Heero and Duo could afford to visit and Wufei told them stories of their days during middle school. Duo listened to him with great interest. He had not had friends in middle school and wondered what it would have been like if he had gone to school here. After being picked on for so long, he had a hard time trusting his so-called 'classmates'. Some were terrified of his brother, others wanted to cozy up to him to be friends with his very attractive, very aloof older brother, and others still thought that he was bullying material, though he was now off limits and refused to be seen with him. After a little while, he had gained a few acquaintances that he had hung out with, but he had never felt very close to them. He was glad to see that he wasn't the only one in this strange group that had been bullied. Duo suddenly realized that with Trowa, Wufei, and Heero at his side, no one would dare to do anything at this school and wasn't sure if he liked that or not. It was nice to have some security at the same time he neither liked to have his friends fight his battles nor wanted them to think he only wanted them to be friends because he was using them. He liked Trowa, Quatre, and Wufei. Trowa and Quatre were the first real friends he had ever had. Before even knowing him, they had reached out and tried to make him feel better. Quatre was so bright and kind, and Trowa, though quiet, was just as kind and when he looked at the tall senior, he realized that Trowa had something in his eyes that reminded him of himself. Wufei was strong willed and honorable, reminding Duo greatly of Heero.

"So, no one still talks to you at school?" Duo asked Wufei.

"Yes. With the exception of you two, all of the people at this school, I went to middle school with. They remember that I am unapproachable and… volatile. In fact, I believe that they will be shocked that you two are talking to me," Wufei smirked, "why you are, I don't know."

Heero shrugged.

"Just because you are tough, it doesn't make you a bully." Heero said.

"You seem like a good person," Duo said quietly, "not many people have the strength of character to admit when they're wrong and not many juniors would be willing to befriend freshmen."

Wufei snorted.

"That whole age-class system is ridiculous," he muttered, "I do not see any point to hazing, it only creates a greater rift between the underclassmen and upperclassmen."

"You just… don't seem scary to me," Duo said. Wufei looked at him, shocked, and ruffled the younger boy's hair, much to Duo's annoyance. There was something about the violet eyed boy that spiked Wufei's protective instincts. There was something in those eyes that was vulnerable and dark at the same time there was also a deep strength that just begged to be brought out and Wufei vowed to be the one to do that. After all, it wasn't everyday a freshman told him he 'didn't seem scary.'

"Is Relena scared of you, too?" Heero asked, amused at the thought of a confident girl like Relena scared of Wufei. True, the boy seemed fierce and exotically distant from their other classmates, but Duo was right, from what he had seen so far, Wufei wasn't so scary. Hell, their mother was scarier than the Chinese-American boy!

Wufei made an odd choking noise at the mention of Heero's new girlfriend.

"That woman…" he muttered, "don't ask me questions about that girl."

Heero stared at him, puzzled. What could Wufei have against the sweet girl?

The school loomed ahead of them and for a brief moment Duo worried that perhaps this new, odd group they had created would disperse once they entered the school grounds. He had seen it often enough, groups of friends that only existed on the outside because they were too ashamed to be seen with each other in the alien world of 'school'. However, they stayed close to each other. It was so strange, he had never thought that finding people he genuinely liked would be so easy. Duo wondered if he was so lonely that creating such friendships was automatic or if there was something special about these boys.

The pleasant conversation they had been having about the newest crime drama Wufei had seen and how impractical it was, quickly stopped as they reached Heero and Duo's locker and saw that Relena Darlian was waiting for them, or rather, Heero.

"Good morning, Relena," Quatre said diplomatically. Relena looked at him for a moment, her eyes suddenly cold and a little bit surprised, as though she couldn't imagine why Quatre would ever speak to her. Then, her eyes fell on Heero and her whole demeanor changed.

"Heero!" She said happily, her whole face lighting up. Heero was momentarily taken back by her expression. He was only used to Duo greeting him that way, so he completely forgot how rude the girl had been a few seconds earlier.

"Hi, Relena," he said with a soft smile. Quatre watched Duo carefully and frowned when he saw Duo looking away from Heero and Relena.

"I have to talk to you for a minute," the blonde girl said, grabbing Heero's hand and pulling him away from his friends and brother. Duo watched him go with a subdued look in his eyes. Wufei put a hand on his shoulder.

"Sooner or later your brother will learn a few things about the reality of that woman. He seems smart, so I'm sure that he won't be led astray merely by a pretty smile. Until then, it is natural to feel a bit… displaced. Give it a few days and you're bound to feel better about the changes," Wufei said.

Duo blinked at Wufei's cryptic comments but nodded. He didn't fully understand what he was saying, but it made him feel better anyway. Still, he felt jealous at how Relena had just pulled Heero away to do who _knows_ what and Heero hadn't even said goodbye. But, he remembered the promise Heero had given him, that Duo would always be the most important thing in his life and that no girl, no matter how charming and pretty, would change that. Duo smirked. Besides, he had seen sides of Heero that that woman _never _would, he thought triumphantly. Relena Darlian might have Heero kisses for now, but he had his tears and screams and laughter, and Relena would never be able to say that.

"We'll meet you in gym, ok?" Quatre waved as he and Trowa left for their own lockers, each in a different direction. Duo waved back and turned to fiddle with his own lock, but Wufei stood next to him.

"You know who the Winners are, don't you?" Wufei asked. Duo shrugged.

"Quatre told me that his family is rich."

Wufei's brown eyes narrowed.

"You're not upset by that?"

Duo looked at him, trying to read what Wufei's real thoughts were.

"If you're asking if the reason why we're friends is because he's loaded, the answer is no," Duo turned back to his locker and stashed some of his heavier books inside, "Quatre was the first person at this school to be nice to me. He didn't know me, but he talked to me. At that moment, I knew that he was a good person and that I wanted to be his friend. He didn't tell me about his family until later. Money doesn't hold much sway for me."

Wufei nodded.

"Good, because I like you and Trowa and Quatre like you, too. It would suck if I would have to teach you some manners. I have absolutely no patience for people like that."

Duo smirked.

"Don't worry, if I ever become that shallow, I give you my express permission to beat me up."

Wufei clapped him on the back.

"See you at lunch."

Duo stared at him in confusion, then schooled his expression.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot, you only have classes with Heero. See ya, then."

Wufei left and Duo closed his locker. Heero still hadn't showed up. Duo sighed. He had a feeling that it was going to be a long day; he could feel a headache coming on.

Heero allowed himself to be pulled into an empty classroom by his girlfriend and even shut the door behind him. He remembered in his last high school how girls would bring their boyfriends into classrooms and make out with them, but Relena had said that she wanted to talk. But, then again, what else would she say in front of other people. But Relena didn't seem like the type of girl to do that. Suddenly, it hit him. He had a girlfriend now and as a boyfriend, he would be required to do all sorts of intimate things with her. Why did that thought scare him so much? He should be excited at the thought of a beautiful girl luring him into an empty room to be 'intimate', yet he would much rather just talk. He wondered if it was because he was nervous. This was, after all, the first relationship he had ever had. He had had no use for girls in high school or middle school and had, for the most part, just ignored them. Sex was a mystery to him, he knew that it was supposed to be something that he, as a teenage boy, thought about all the time, but it was also something that he was only familiar with in his dreams and by the time he awoke, he remembered very little of those dreams, only that they had been very intense, making him occasionally wake up with an erection that he would banish with uncomfortable thoughts and a cold shower. It was an embarrassing thing to admit, he was seventeen and he had only kissed. Once. And he wasn't exactly sure that he could tell anyone about that kiss, no he was positive of that. 'I'm sorry, I'm a total virgin, but I did kiss my little brother once when he was six!' That wouldn't go over very well.

He came out of his thoughts as he realized that Relena was staring at the back of his hand, specifically at the burn there.

"Heero, how did this happen?" She demanded. Heero pulled his hand out of hers.

"It's just a dumb kid thing," he reassured her. She looked at him uneasily, but let it go.

"You wanted to talk to me?" He asked. Relena bit her lip, clearly uncomfortable.

"Heero, why were you with Quatre Winner and Trowa Barton this morning?" She blurted out.

"Well, they're my brother's friends and now… I guess they're my friends now, too," Heero said, perplexed, "why?"

Relena frowned.

"You can't be friends with those two or Wufei, either," she said, flicking her long blonde hair over her shoulder. Heero narrowed his eyes and she froze, sensing the danger in those blue eyes.

"And why is that?" He managed to say with a bare minimum of hostility. Relena paled, realizing that she had upset him, but couldn't figure out why.

"They're… last year, they did something really, really horrible! Because of Quatre's father," she spat, "no one talks about it, but it happened nonetheless! And you just can't hang out with those people! I don't want you to think that I'm being cruel, but I'm just looking out for you, Heero. If you're brother wants to get caught up with them, that's fine, it isn't normal for one to be around one's little brother so much, anyway."

Heero's eyes hardened.

"Relena," he said coldly, "I like you, I really do, but don't you dare presume to tell me what to do!"

Relena took a step back away from him and the cold fury that was radiating from him.

"I've spent my whole life being ordered around by my mother, and you are certainly not her! I will hang out with my brother if I please and who I befriend is none of your business! If you honestly can stand there and order my around and not see anything wrong with that, then I'm sorry, but this isn't going to work out between us."

Heero felt bad when Relena started to cry, but he kept going anyway.

"You can't even give me a real reason why Quatre and Trowa are such bad people. I've done terrible things, too, yet you seem to like me just fine. I'm going to go to class now and I will talk to who I please without your permission," Heero spun on his heel, marching out of the classroom and slamming the door behind him. As he left, Relena's expression changed from the broken hearted, sweet girl to one of cold frustration. Her hands curled into fists. Heero had left. He had broken up… with _her_. No, she smiled, she had misjudged him, but that didn't matter. Before the end of the day she would make things right again. Heero Yuy would come back to her, she was sure of it.

Heero refused to talk about what he and Relena had done or talked about, but Duo could tell he was mad. Not at him, thankfully, but through the entire day, fury seemed to boil underneath his cool exterior. He broke pencils, through the basketball in gym a little too hard, and had seemed sullen in classes. When he was with Duo and one of their new friends in between classes, he was slightly calmer and more receptive, as though he was making up for something, but Duo didn't pry. He knew that sooner or later, Heero would tell him. They were terrible at keeping secrets from each other. The cafeteria was crowded as always, but as Wufei joined them, the crowd gave them a few feet of space. It was amusing to watch, even as they were given wide eyed stares and people whispered to each other as the five of them sat down together.

"I'm sorry about this," Wufei muttered. Duo smiled at him.

"Just ignore them, I am."

With that, the mood at their table lifted and Heero and Trowa watched in amusement as Quatre, Duo, and Wufei started to duel each other with their French fries. It wasn't until Duo managed to catapult some ketchup on Heero's cheek using one of his fries that the other two joined in.

Heero stopped playing when he saw a boy stop behind Wufei.

"Hey, killer, finally find some new victims, huh?"

Wufei turned on his seat to look at the boy.

"Go away, Zeke," he snarled. The boy, who was a good foot taller than Wufei with brown eyes and slightly spiky brown hair that was streaked a pale green, just grinned down at him.

"Was'sa matter, chink? Don't ya know you don't scare me like all these puppy dogs?" His brown eyes moved to Trowa and Quatre, "and if it ain't the poofters! I guess killer, here, is the only one that would be brave enough to sit next to you! Hey, killer, you gone over to the dark side?" the obnoxious boy sneered. Heero watched in confusion as their three new friends just looked at each other with annoyed expressions but didn't try to make the boy leave. Then, those sharp brown eyes fell on his little brother and Heero felt his blood turn cold. Duo stiffened as he felt a large hand grip his shoulder.

"Well, aren't you the cutest little thing. Darlin', if you ever get tired of these sick fucks, you can always hang out at my table," a hot voice whispered in his ear. Heero's blood turned from ice to fire and it took every ounce of self restraint not to leap over the table and beat the ever loving crap out of this officious prick. Duo grabbed Zeke's hand on his shoulder and twisted it, making the taller boy cry out in pain.

"Touch me again and I'll show you just how much of a 'sick fuck' _I_ can be," Duo released his hand and the green haired boy stumbled back, looking at his wrist as bruises started to form. The boy looked like a princess, but he was _strong_!

"Now, you heard Wufei, be a good little boy and shoo," Duo said, returning to his meal, dismissing Zeke without so much as a glance. Zeke glared at him, but the look in Heero's eyes stopped him and he retreated.

Heero, Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei stared at Duo in shock as he munched on his fries as though nothing had happened. Heero had never seen his brother like that before. It made him feel excited, his chest tight, and his blood pumping. Duo always was so subdued, usually when he was picked on, he didn't fight back. But, Zeke had been picking on his friends, too, Heero realized, and Duo had never had any serious friends to defend so maybe this was a natural reaction.

"We usually just ignore him," Quatre explained, "for the past year he's been bullying us, but it never seemed worth the effort to fight back."

Heero remembered Relena's words, '_last year they did something really, really horrible'_ and he couldn't help but feel curious, but didn't say anything.

Wufei snorted.

"It was worth it now seeing the look on his face," Wufei patted Duo's arm, "thank you."

Duo shrugged, but blushed.

"I just hate guys like that. He had no right to say those things."

"All five of us should do something over the weekend!" Quatre said suddenly, "I've already invited Duo over, but it'll be even more fun if all of us were there!"

Duo seemed to perk up at that thought.

"Your father won't be there?" Trowa asked. Quatre shook his head.

"He'll be gone for the weekend."

Duo wondered what was so bad about having his father there.

"I'm game," Wufei said, "I have to tell my grandparents, but I'm sure they'll agree."

"Me, too," Trowa said, "Cathy won't be happy about it, but she seldom is happy about anything. I'm sure I can sneak over for the weekend."

Heero looked at Duo.

"You sure we can go? I doubt Mom will be happy about it."

Duo rolled his eyes.

"I bet that we could disappear right now and she wouldn't notice."

Trowa and Wufei looked at the pair sadly, but Quatre knew what that was like. Duo looked at Heero oddly.

"Besides, Heero, you have that date with Relena, remember?"

Heero almost smacked himself in the head. He had gotten so caught up with his friends he had forgotten all about her.

"Actually," he admitted, "I might not go at all."

The four of them looked at Heero in surprise.

"She's kind of clingy and we just had a big fight… to tell you the truth, I'm not sure I want to be her boyfriend anymore."

Duo smiled brightly and Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei shared a knowing look. At least that was one good thing about his fight with Relena, Heero thought, he could make his brother and friends happy. He knew that she made Duo uncomfortable, but why did the other three dislike her so much? He wasn't sure that having a girlfriend that his friends didn't like was a good idea.

"Well, if you two do end up together, don't let her boss you around, Heero," Quatre warned him, "she loves controlling people and is very bossy."

Trowa gave him a warning look. Heero looked at the blonde with wide, shocked eyes.

"But, she doesn't seem like the type of person that would do that…" Heero said, unsure. Quatre didn't seem like the type of person to lie, either and Relena had tried to order him around earlier…

"She's a true politician," Quatre said cryptically, "how she looks and how she really is… only a handful of people will ever know."

If possible, Heero looked even more confused.

"But… I don't think she's that bossy…"

Heero's mind wandered to that night, years ago when his mother had caught him touching Duo and had burned his hand. She had said that she wanted what was best for him, but that was what was going through Relena's mind, too, right? Just because she claimed she wanted what was best for him didn't mean that she wouldn't hurt him. Heero caught Duo looking at him in concern and had to look away. He couldn't bear to think of that night with his brother only two feet away. What if Duo knew what he was thinking? That was absurd, of course, but Heero couldn't help but feel ashamed and nervous about thinking such secret thoughts here in front of everyone. Such things belonged in the privacy of his room, late at night, and nowhere else.

"I'm not Relena," he heard Quatre say and looked at him, "I won't tell you who you can date."

Heero blushed when he realized that Quatre knew exactly what he and Relena had discussed.

"But I will give you this piece of advice: don't get swept up by her charm," with that, Quatre continued eating, telling Heero that he wasn't going to interfere any further. Heero was confused by the comment, but was also relieved that Quatre seemed to understand just what had been bothering him. That was the difference between his friends and Relena, she expected him to do what she told him to do and they let him come to his own conclusions. If that was any indication for the sort of relationship he would have had with her, perhaps it was a good thing they had had a fight so early in their relationship.

Home Ec, Heero decided, was clearly a torture session for males, or rather, males like him. Sewing, cooking… how on earth did women have an understanding of these things when he couldn't even understand the words they used? He would never survive as a husband, he decided. Duo, on the other hand, while he struggled with the sewing, had the cooking down, but since he did it so much at home, Heero wasn't surprised. They each had their own stations, which were assigned alphabetically, so he and Duo were together once again. Heero didn't mind at all. He was sure that it was Duo's skills alone that would get him a passing grade. There were three people a station and the other person was a petit blonde named Sylvia who could sew pretty well, but was even worse than Heero at cooking and she never followed the teacher's instructions with what she sewed, claiming that handkerchief's were the only thing worthy for a girl to sew. At this Duo would roll his eyes and make a joke that he would learn how to sew just so he could sew her into a couch. So, when a tall blonde girl that Heero had never seen before approached their station, he was on alert. That alert only grew at the sight of her forked eyebrows(2) and strange, dusty blue colored eyes.

"Heero Yuy?"

Duo watched her out of the corner of his eye, but continued to chop carrots for the stew that they were supposed to be making.

"Yes?" Heero asked. The girl smiled at him, but it didn't quite meet her eyes.

"I have a message for you from Relena."

Heero sighed and Duo's back stiffened at the sound of her name.

"Give it to me," he said in a bored tone. The girl didn't seem putout by his attitude and instead smiled wider.

"She wants to meet you after school to discuss what happened this morning," she said sweetly. Heero thought about it. Did he really want to meet with Relena again? He was positive that she would try to win him back and he wasn't totally positive he wanted to have her back. Sure, he knew absolutely nothing about her and it probably wasn't fair to dismiss her after only one day, but Quatre's words stuck with him.

"Alright, I'll meet with her," Heero said and watched as the blonde flitted off to wherever she had come from. He turned back to Duo, who was chopping the carrots a bit harder than he had been before. Heero sighed again.

"You're mad at me."

Duo shook his head and stopped chopping. Sylvia watched them from where she was making the broth.

"I just don't like the idea of this girl having this much pull over you."

"She doesn't," Heero protested. Duo looked him in the eye.

"No? Then why is it the second she asks to meet with you, you jump?"

If anyone else had said such a thing, Heero would have punched them.

"I just want to be fair to her," Heero explained, "if she wants to apologize, I should give her the chance to."

"Promise me something."

"Alright."

"Promise me that you're trying so hard with this girl because you really want to be with her, not because you feel you have to."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" Heero snapped, "of course I want to be with her! Why else would I be doing this?!"

Duo looked at him with an odd expression that Heero just couldn't read.

"Ok, then meet her today. But, Heero, you have to be honest with her, but mostly be honest with yourself."

Heero huffed. He was so sick of people being so cryptic with him today. Relena knew something about Quatre and Trowa, but wouldn't say what except that it was something 'really, really horrible', Quatre knew something about Relena, but only said that she was 'a true politician', and now Duo knew something about himself but only told him to 'be honest'. How the fuck could he be honest when he had no idea what Duo was talking about?!

Heero took a deep breath and reined in his anger. This was Duo, after all, and he had always had problems understanding his logic.

"Duo, I promise you that I'll be honest with her. I also promise that, even if we do patch things up, I'll be at Quatre's Friday."

Duo seemed to relax a little.

"Alright," he said, unsure, "but don't cut your date short just because of me."

Heero smirked.

"No problem, squirt."

Duo growled at the pet name and flicked a piece of carrot at him, which got stuck on Heero's cheek. Heero picked it off and through it in the sink.

"Nice shot. I don't know how long this thing with Relena will last, so don't wait up for me."

"If Quatre's driver doesn't show, we can walk home together," Duo said, disappointed that Heero wouldn't walk home with him. This felt so wrong. He was actually telling Heero things that would result in him dating that… girl. That and he didn't like the idea of Heero being alone with her. He felt nauseous at the thought of him just kissing her… let alone the other stuff.

Walking home with Quatre instead of his brother felt like a betrayal of sorts, but it wasn't unpleasant. Quatre immediately noticed that there was something on Duo's mind.

"What's wrong?" Quatre asked him.

"There's something wrong with Heero," Duo said, "I think he's unhappy."

"Why would you say that?"

"Well, I can understand why he got so mad at Relena, but breaking up with her seemed a little harsh. He started dating her without even getting to know her and now he's thinking of getting back together with her just as easily. It's like he can't make up his mind. Also, he said that he would be with us Friday instead of being with her. Isn't that strange? I mean, I'd never date someone unless I really, really liked them and if I liked them, I'd want to spend as much time as I could with them, right?"

Quatre nodded, his eyes far off as if he was thinking of something far away.

"But Heero seems hesitant about this date and wants to spend time with us instead. It's just weird. I don't think he's very happy with her."

"He could also just be nervous," Quatre said, playing the devil's advocate, "if he hasn't dated a lot, he could be nervous to make a good impression. He could want to be with us instead because it's something that he's more familiar with."

Duo nodded.

"Yeah, Heero's never been on a date before, to my knowledge."

"Eh?!" Quatre asked in shock, "that's really surprising. I mean, Heero seems like the type of guy that would have a ton of girls hanging off of him whether he likes it or not," Quatre eyed his friend, "but then again, so do you. Have you ever been on a date?"

Duo blushed.

"Well, Heero has had a lot of admirers, but he's never dated any of them. Neither have I."

Quatre shook his head.

"That's so sad. I'm not hitting on you or anything, but yesterday I told you that you were beautiful and I meant it. You are very attractive and I assumed at first that you were jealous because a pretty girl noticed your brother before you, then I found out that it was the opposite!"

Duo bit his lip.

"At first I told myself that I didn't like the idea of Heero dating Relena because there was something about her that I didn't like. I still don't like or trust her, but I think it goes beyond that. The idea of him dating anyone makes me feel weird."

Quatre smiled at him.

"Jealousy is a very natural emotion. I get the feeling from you two that you're very close. So, I imagine that you feel like you're being left behind. Here the two of you are; new state, new town, new school, and on the very first day, your brother gets a girlfriend. I know that that would make me feel jealous. I gave you that cell phone to show you that you don't have to feel alone and I meant it. My mother died when I was a baby," Quatre admitted, his voice solemn, "and a few years ago, my dad started to date women. I hated each and every one of them and when he brought them to our home, I felt this rage inside of me. I was angry at these strange women invading my mother's space, despite the fact that I had never met my mother and only knew what she looked like from photographs. When my dad started to take them out to dinner, I felt so jealous that my time with my father was taken away from me. I should have been happy that he was trying to move on with his life instead of wallowing in grief, but I wasn't. I realized that I would rather that he spend his days alone and miserable instead of dating strange women. I felt horrible for thinking that way, but it was just the way I felt."

Duo listened to him, wide eyed.

"So, eventually you got over it?"

Quatre laughed bitterly.

"No, even to this day, if a woman comes over to our house, whether it is a business partner or a maid, I feel that rage. My father stopped dating after four months, so I never really got over it, he just stopped doing it."

Duo looked at the ground guiltily as they walked. So, these feelings would never go away? He didn't think how he would be able to live if he felt so angry and bitter all the time!

As they walked, the road dipped down hill and Duo could see the shimmering surface of the lake off in the distance. Near the lake was a white house with a porch that was so close to the lake, he was sure that anyone who lived out there would be greeted by the smell of the water and trees on the other side of the lake every morning when they awoke. Quatre watched as Duo's eyes got a dreamy quality to them and he couldn't help but smile at the almost child-like expression.

"It's for sale, you know."

Duo looked away from the house.

"So?" He said. Quatre said.

"It's ok to want things. Besides, one day you'll have a house like that, so why are you so sad?"

//A letter to my future self

Am I still happy? I began

Have I grown up pretty?

Is Daddy still a good man?

Am I still friends with Colleen?

I'm sure that I'm still laughing

Aren't I?// (3)

"Something like that… it isn't for me," Duo murmured. As they walked, the street became level once more and both the house and the lake vanished from sight.

//Aren't I?//

"Well, what do you think of when you think of your future?" Quatre asked curiously.

//Hey there to my future self

If you forget how to smile

I have this to tell you

Remember it once in a while

Ten years ago your past self

Prayed for you happiness

Please don't lose hope//

"I don't."

Quatre stared at him. Who didn't think of the future, especially at their age?! Hell, with all the lectures and visits to guidance counselors, it was impossible not to think of the future, at least up to college.

"Why not?"

//Oh, oh what a pair, me and you

Put here to feel joy, not be blue

Sad times and bad times---see them through

Soon we will know if it's for real

What we both feel//

_Because I don't deserve to have a future._

//Though I can't know for sure how things worked out for us

No matter how hard it gets, you have to realize

We weren't put on this earth to suffer and cry

We were made for being happy

So be happy—for me, for you

Please//

"It depresses me," Duo said. Quatre looked at him at the odd statement.

_I don't deserve that house, _Duo thought, _not after what happened. I can't bury the past and I can't pretend that it isn't my fault. My mom, Heero, they're suffering because of me, so I have to suffer, too. _

They dropped the subject anyway and when they passed by an old woman who was selling kittens by the side of the road, Duo seemed better, going over to play with the little things. Quatre couldn't help but smile seeing Duo brighten at the playful creatures.

"They're free," the woman said and Duo frowned, putting the black kitten he had been playing with back into the box.

"My mother hates cats," he said sadly. The women smiled kindly at him.

"Well, if she changes her mind, they'll be here."

He nodded and he and Quatre continued to walk, but now Duo was even more subdued than normal. Quatre had the sudden urge to run back and take _all_ of the kittens, just to cheer Duo up, but it wasn't his place.

"I've always wanted a cat," Duo said.

"I'm sorry, Duo. If my dad didn't hate pets, I'd say that I'd keep it at my house, but…"

Duo shook his head.

"I couldn't ask that of you."

Quatre made a mental note to ask Trowa if his sister liked cats. He _would_ get Duo to smile, sooner or later.

"Well, I'm sure that my dad has cooled off by now, so I can give you a ride tomorrow if you like."

"No thanks, Kat, I like walking with Heero," Duo assured him. Quatre smiled at the nickname. It was much better than some of the names his classmates called him or the sugary sweet names his sisters bestowed on him.

_Why would a boy who has his own limo bother with a guy like me who can't even get his mother to drive him to school? _Duo wondered.

As they got closer to the fork in the road where Quatre would have to leave him, Duo's book bag got heavier and heavier as he remembered what was in it.

"Quat, can I ask you for a favor?"

Quatre nodded. Duo took out the photo album from his bag. From the way he cradled it gently, Quatre could tell that it was important.

"Can you take this from me?"

Quatre didn't ask any questions, he was bright enough not to. He knew that Duo loved the album very much and he remembered that Duo had mentioned that he had had a fight with his mother that morning. He could add two and two together, it was just that this time it was taking him a bit longer to reach four, right now all he knew was that it did not equal one or two. Still, he didn't ask why Duo seemed to need to protect the album, he just accepted that Duo needed this favor from him.

"I'll take good care of it," he promised. He watched as Duo opened it and clicked open the spiral holding the pages together, taking out a page of photos and slipping it into his jacket. He then closed the binding and handed Quatre the book. Quatre put this information into his mind for later speculation.

"I'll see you tomorrow, ok?" Quatre waved as he started to walk down his own street, the album tucked securely under his arm. Duo waved back.

"See ya!" Duo turned down his own street and they parted for the day.

Duo had barely enough time to open the door and take off his shoes before his mother appeared in the hall and started in on him.

"Where the hell is it?!" she snarled. Duo shrugged.

"I don't have it," he said truthfully. She grabbed his arm and yanked his book bag from him, but he didn't protest.

_There's no point, _he thought with triumphant glee, _I don't have it anymore._

Eliza dumped the contents of his bag on the floor and panted with rage. It wasn't here… that was impossible! Heero… his brother had to have it! She gripped Duo's shirt and slammed him against the wall, a part of her crowing happily as his head cracked against it.

"Where the fuck is it?!" she screeched. Duo realized that she had gone completely insane. Well, it wasn't the first time he had made someone go insane. She wrapped a hand around his neck and squeezed.

"Tell me!"

Duo gasped for breath, but didn't fight back. There was no point, he had no desire to fight her anymore and Heero wasn't around to save him this time. (4)

"If you think that you can order me around like some child, then it's obviously a bad idea for us to date," Heero told Relena.

_Great, now she's crying again, _Heero thought, exasperated. He probably should have comforted her, that's what he would have done for Duo, even if he had screwed up, but mostly he was just annoyed by her tears. He wanted them to stop. He thought about how melodramatic teenage girls were. They had only known each other for two days, so she couldn't possibly love him.

"I-I'm so so-orry," she sobbed, "I just want what's best for you."

There was that phrase again, but he ignored it. She had apologized, after all and he was sure that in a situation like this, a good boyfriend would take her back, even though he really didn't want to.

"I forgive you, but I refuse to be given orders no matter what your intentions are, if you pull anything like that again, we're done," he turned to leave, but she grabbed at his sleeve.

"W-will you still go out with me on Friday?" she asked.

"Yes," Heero said and watched her pretty blue eyes light up, but he preferred the odd blue violet of Duo's eyes to her crystal ones. That color appeared almost see through, but Duo's color was deeper, endless, really, but it wouldn't have looked good on her like it looked on his brother.

"However," Heero continued, "Quatre has invited my brother, Trowa, Wufei, and myself to his house for the weekend, so I will be cutting the date short."

Pain sparked in her eyes and for a brief moment it looked like something else, something familiar, like rage… but that couldn't be, Relena was too sweet to be so angry over such a little thing.

"Please, don't, Heero!" she bit her lip as she realized that she had been about to order him not to go, to spend the weekend with her, instead. Wasn't that what boyfriends were supposed to do? Instead he was staying with his _little brother_ of all people and those… those…

"No," Heero said sternly as though he was lecturing a child. This time he left and Relena didn't stop him. Her face contorted into a look of raw anger. Why did his brother have such a pull on him?! It was unnatural! She was blonde, but she was no fool, she knew that Heero was going over to that nasty boy's house because of his brother, the question was: why? Why be with his freaky little brother when he could be with a beautiful girl? She just couldn't figure it out, but she would. Oh, yes, and when she did, she would make sure that Duo Maxwell never came between them again.

It was lonely and strange walking home without Duo. The walk wasn't very long, but by the time he was halfway there, he wished that he had some company. When they were younger, Duo would talk his ear off about the most inane things. It was strange how you missed stuff like that when it was gone. Duo didn't talk so much anymore. He didn't smile. He wasn't hyper, either. He was still bright and still fun to be around, but since their childhood, something vital had been ripped out of him and though he had been trying for years to get it back, Heero didn't think that he was the right person for the job, it was just so hard… but he would never stop trying.

Heero stopped as he saw an old woman selling kittens by the side of the road.

"_Kitten!"_ _Duo squealed and started to walk over to the stray tabby cat that was standing in their driveway._

"_Duo, don't!" Heero cried and grabbed the child's arm. _

"_But why?" Duo asked, confused._

"_Because he might scratch you!" _

_Duo just looked at him in confusion._

"_So?" Duo broke free of his grip and continued, cautiously towards the cat. Heero sighed. Ever since the incident with the dog, Duo had been terrified of dogs, but cats were still free game for the little boy's interest in animals. However, as Duo got close, the cat finally realized that it was being stalked and ran off. Duo stood in the driveway, watching as it ran away, tears collecting in his violet eyes. He sniffed._

'_So easily wounded,' Heero thought in affection. _

"_It's ok," Heero said and wrapped his arms around Duo._

"_Why can't we have a cat?" Duo asked, his voice choked with the effort not to cry. _

"'_Cause Mommy says so. Don't worry, you'll have a cat when you're older."_

_Duo turned in Heero's arms and stared up at him, his eyes wide at the thought of owning his very own cat._

Heero smiled and walked up to the woman.

"How much for the kittens?"

The old woman grinned at him, her eyes narrowing in slyness as she saw him.

"They're free, dear."

Heero raised his eyebrow at that. In his experience, nothing in life was free.

"The cat toys, food, and proof of ownership is twenty bucks," she said, grinning wider.

Ah, of course. He almost rolled his eyes.

"Only twenty bucks?" he asked. His eyes moved to a plastic bag that was next to her. There were several of them, actually, one for each cat, but they were stuff to the brim. He was sure that that stuff was more than twenty dollars. She winked at him.

"You take a cat and tell the braided cutie that it's a gift from Mamma Rosa, alright?"

Heero stared at her in shock.

"How?"

"Honey, I've been livin' here for sixty years and I know every a face in this town. When I see such cute faces like yours and your brothers, I remember them. Especially one so sad as his."

Heero sighed mentally. She knew how to sell. The mere mention of Duo being sad at not being able to get a kitten made any pretense of money and his mother's anger go out the window. She could have named any price and he would have bent over backwards to pay it. He rooted in his book bag for his wallet and took out twenty dollars.

"Thank you," he said. She handed him one of the bags.

"You'll have to get that filled out. It ain't necessary unless you got a dog instead of a cat, but in case you need to take it to the vet or it gets lost, it's a good thing to have. Just have your brother pick a name; none of this 'Pookie' or 'Mittens' shit, either, and he'll need to sign at the bottom, then ya just drop it off at the town hall, done and done."

Heero nodded. He looked at the kittens in the box. A tiny black one, the smallest of the litter stumbled towards him, barely able to keep upright on its four legs. As soon as it got to the edge of the box, it fell onto its stomach. Heero smirked. The kitten looked up at him as it struggled to its feet and mewed at him. He could see what Duo saw in the little beasts, they were quite cute.

"That one's a girl," the woman said with a knowing smile. Heero realized that, somehow, this woman had known which one he would pick. He picked the cat up in one hand and cradled it against his body.

"Thank you," he said again and, bag of cat toys and food in one hand and kitten the other, he made his way back onto the street. The old woman smirked and waved.

"Answer me!" Heero heard his mother screaming on the street and ran. Shit! He had totally forgotten about his promise to himself to watch out for Duo after school. He was such an ass! He ran through the door and saw his mother pinning his little brother to the wall and screaming in his face.

"You will give me that album so I can fix this family!" She screeched.

"Stop it!" Heero yelled and through her off of Duo, careful of the living creature in his hand that was squirming and scratching at him, realizing that a fight was going down and she wanted nothing to do with it. Duo slid to the floor, looking dazed.

"Heero?" he murmured, looking confused that Heero had suddenly appeared.

"It's just an album!" Heero snapped at her, standing in front of Duo like a shield, "You'll never find it, so back off." Heero saw papers and textbooks scattered on the floor, but no album and realized that the only logical answer was that Duo had followed his advice and gotten rid of it before he came home, probably giving it to Quatre. He once again felt that annoying heat inside of him at the thought that Duo trusted the blonde boy with something so personal, but he shook it off. It was just because he was afraid of what would happen to it and Quatre has proved to be trustful so far, he told himself.

Eliza seemed to calm and looked at him coldly. She flicked her brown hair over her shoulder in a way that reminded Heero of Relena.

"You're right, it doesn't matter. In the end, that bitch is dead, isn't she? That's the greatest victory of all, I suppose."

Duo was suddenly on his feet and in her face so quickly that Heero had thought he had teleported. Duo slapped her. Heero stared, frozen to the spot as their mother's head snapped to the side, a hand print starting to bruise on her face and blood slid down the corner of her mouth. She laughed.

"Your little friend will always be dead and it's your fault for what you did to him! You killed her!" Eliza laughed madly. Duo stepped away from her, the color draining from his face.

"No!" he cried and fled up the steps. Eliza watched him go in triumph. Then, she finally saw the cat and her gaze turned furious again.

"Get that fucking thing out of my house."

"If you don't want your other cheek to match that one, then I suggest you shut up."

Eliza paused, regarding the righteous anger in Heero's deep blue eyes with caution.

"This is Duo's cat. It will be living here from now on. If anything happens to her, well, there are laws against animal cruelty in this state."

Eliza choked out a laugh.

"You'll call the police on me for hurting vermin? You wouldn't dare!"

"No?" Heero said and she froze, realizing just how serious she was, "you have yet to give me a reason not to. And if she disappears, if you throw her out of the house or anything like that, well, that won't matter. Duo and I will find her each and ever time."

Eliza gritted her teeth as she realized that the newest addition to their 'family' was inevitable. Heero breezed past her and up the stairs.

Heero's victory over his mother was short lived as he walked into Duo's room and saw his brother sitting on the floor, his arms wrapped around his legs, rocking, and looking past Heero at something that only he could see. His eyes were glazed over and his face was white. Heero swore. Not again! He placed the cat gently on the floor and kneeled down in front of his brother, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him.

"Duo, wake up! C'mon, honey, you have to come back to me!"

Duo kept staring and rocking as though Heero wasn't there and, Heero realized, to Duo, he wasn't. Weren't you supposed to slap people when they were in this state? People in the movies did it all the time. But, he didn't want to hit him! Medicine… if only he had his medicine!

The kitten, curious about the scene in front of her brushed stumbled over to them and ended up brushing against Duo's hand. Duo jerked as reality clicked back in place and Heero had to hold him down. Duo came back to himself and blinked.

"Heero, what…"

Heero sighed in relief and hugged him tightly.

"Don't you ever do that to me again!"

Duo, still confused, looked down at the cat.

"Heero, why is there a cat in my room."

The kitten rubbed itself against Duo's hand, marking him with her little head. Heero laughed and picked her up. She hissed at him, indignant at being interrupted before she had finished marking what was hers.

"This is yours."

Duo blinked as Heero placed the cat in his hand. She was tiny, but warm.

"Mine?"

"Yes, some old lady gave her to me."

Duo's eyes widened.

"It's a girl and she's yours, so I suggest you name her or I'll just start calling her 'the cat'," Heero teased. Duo blushed as the kitten nibbled on his thumb too gentle to really cause him any pain.

"Mom…"

"Can't do a damn thing about it," Heero assured him. Duo looked at the cat in amazement. The little thing tried to curl up in Duo hand and fall asleep. He clutched her to his chest and she clung happily to his soft shirt. His face lit up in a brilliant smile.

"Oh, god, Heero, she's adorable," Duo started to cry. Heero smiled back and hugged him, careful of the cat between them.

"It's been so long," he murmured into his hair, "you don't smile so much anymore."

Duo pressed his face into Heero's shirt, loving the firm muscle of his chest.

"Only for you, Heero," he said softly.

(1) No, Magdalene is NOT named after Mary Magdalene in any way, shape, or form. I was stuck on her name because I needed a name that would be hard for a child to pronounce, but that there could be a nickname that Duo could pronounce, like Maggie. I was listening to Silent Hill music. BTW, I have decided that I am no longer aloud to listen to SH when writing this fic. The music sets the tone for The Definition of Love very, very well, but while I'm writing the dark stuff, it's very depressing. But, anyway, a song called 'Magdalene' came on and I thought that it fit her, so that's how I came up with that name.

(2) I 3 Dorothy. She is one of my favorite female characters in Gundam Wing. I loved her little moment in Endless Waltz. However, I would have liked her a lot more without the eyebrows.

(3) This is 'Letter from the Lost Days' by Akira Yamaoka/Mary Elizabeth McGlynn. When I was writing this scene, the song came on and when I heard that first stanza, I literally shivered.

(4) I thought about ending the chapter here, but decided I was going to be nice and not have a cliffhanger since it takes me weeks to update.

OMG!!! This chapter is finally done! *dies*

No, this is not the end of the story *rolls eyes* this chapter just took too long to write and I kept coming up with different ideas. Sigh. This story is getting a little bit intense. Over 16,000 words this chapter was. I don't think I've written that much in one chapter before, but don't quote me on that.


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